My Desires for 2010...

Well we had fun last night. It was exactly what I had in mind (wanted to go to some kind of hopping party or something) but it was still ok. We did have the most expensive dinner we’ve ever ate! I couldn’t believe how much it cost. I do have to say it was the second best meal I’ve ever had, but for as much as we paid I would expect it to be the best ever! But it was still wonderful! We did get all decked out and Danny did too, but I forgot the camera so we don’t have any pictures to show for it . And it was incredibly cold outside! I think it was down in the 20’s and here I am in this barely there dress, but it was still cute and Shannon looked adorable and Danny looked so handsome!

Well here I sit on this New Year’s Day 2010 contemplating what my New Year’s resolution should be. I really hate making them because rarely do I follow through with them. But there are several things I would love to accomplish this year. I would like to be more consistent on doing my quiet time and Bible study, with a deeper passion for God. This past year has made me realize just how real He is and how very much He loves me. He got me through what I like to call the great depression and now that I’m doing better I want to devote my life to Him. I want to have that burning passion that just can’t be contained. It’s been so long since I’ve felt that, but I know if I get in the Word more that I can find it again.

I do want to lose some weight since I gained so much last year. I’ve had to go up a size in my clothes and that just frustrates me to no end. I would like to join a gym that has racket ball because I love that, though I don’t know if we have the money to do that. I do need to make an effort to exercise more. I don’t know how many people make the same resolution, but this is something that really drives me. I’ve realized this last year how vital good health is and not to take it for granted. Watching Ma and all she went through makes me realize how blessed I am to be as healthy as I am. I want to make a point not to take this for granted and to live life to the fullest. I’m also happy that I quit smoking and still can’t believe I picked it up last year. But this is one thing that I am resolute about! I won’t pick them up again because I’ve realized just how addictive they are. It’s the one thing I am most ashamed of that I did last year and I’m determined not to treat my body like that again. After all my body is a temple that the Holy Spirit indwells and I wouldn’t want to grieve the Holy Spirit that way.

I do want to make an effort to keep the house clean for the family. They deserve that! And since I am a stay at home wife and mom there is no reason why I shouldn’t be able to accomplish this. It seems to get away from me so easy, but if I get started and stay on top of it, this is something that is I can absolutely do. I want to be a better wife and mom to my family. I need to make sure I put their needs before my selfish wants and deny my flesh where I would be tempted to give in. Outside of God, there is nothing in my life that is more important to me than my family. If this is so (and I say it is) then I should strive harder to provide them what they need. I have a great family, one that I love so dearly, so my love should be demonstrated through my actions and ways that I can provide for them.

I need to try to be more loving to people. I need to show my thankfulness to my friends for their friendship. I need to rely on Christ to love those I would deem unlovable and love them through the power of Christ. I need to show my feelings in a loving way. I need to be more active in thinking positive thoughts and put away any self-pity. I need to love my estranged family the best way possible and pray for restoration. I need to pray more, especially for those in need of prayer. Prayer is the strongest weapon I have against the enemy and I need to use it. I need to put on the armor of God. He can equip me with all my needs if I just rely on Him. I need to love deeper and live fuller. The only way to do this is to live a life devoted to God and not to myself. I need to stop doubting the power of God and know He is faithful to fulfill all of His promises. This is a deep list that is only possible through the power of God. If I can rely on Him to provide me the perfect parking spot (and I do ask this of Him) then why don’t I ask Him to provide me what He would deem what’s perfect for my life.

I don’t know how successful I will be with all of this, but it is what I desire. I want 2010 to be one the best years ever and I know it’s up to me and God. My relationship with Him must be paramount! Without this I am doomed to fail. I know that with Him all things are possible. So this list is doable if I depend solely on Him. He is the key to fulfilling all that I want. I’m not going to say that I will perfect this list, but I will strive for it. I wouldn’t even say these are resolutions as much as they are goals I will try for. I think resolutions fail because they are things I think I must do. When I feel pressured I rebel. Rebellion was the theme of 2009 and I am determined that 2010 it won’t be a repeat.

I pray for everyone else that 2010 is a blessed year for them. I want 2010 to be a great year for everyone; one that surpasses their expectations and gives them more than they ever hoped to find. No this isn’t a list of resolutions but a prayer. A prayer I will continue to strive for in all ways possible. With the help of God all this will come to pass and I will be able to feel that I was able to accomplish something in 2010 that I was never able to do in years pass. This is my prayer for me and for all of you too!

Melissa Fitzwilliam