It’s midnight and I’m wide awake. I’m trying to tell myself I need to go to bed but I can’t bring myself to go into an empty bed. I know Danny has to work, but I really dislike this shift. It’s so hard trying to sleep without him next to me. I know couples who sleep in separate beds because for them it is more comfortable, but that baffles me. I can’t imagine having a different room from Danny or choosing not to sleep next to him every single night. There’s a comfort knowing that he’s next to me. There’s a calmness that comes over me when I can hear him breathing next to me. To feel his chest rise and fall as he cuddles close is so soothing.
So on nights like tonight I find myself unable to fall asleep. I would rather be doing anything than crawling into an empty bed. I think in a way it goes to show how close Danny and I are even after ten years of being together. I haven’t gotten sick of him yet! One of his friends were saying how blessed are to have so a wonderful relationship and he’s right. We’ve been so blessed by God! Our marriage has withstood many tests and we remain as strong as ever. I know that soul mates are real, love stories aren’t just stories, true love does exist, and happily ever after is more than just a possibility it’s our life’s theme.
So as I sit here missing him tonight, I reflect on what an awesome God I serve that He would send me my perfect husband. I wrote a letter to God as a teenager and told Him the qualities I wanted my future husband to possess. Danny fits it to a “T”. God sent me my “Mr. Perfect”, but I was also searching for God’s will in my life. After one failed marriage, I wasn’t willing to settle again. I knew I would wait how ever long it took to find the perfect one God had chosen for me. I didn’t have to wait an incredibly long time, but what we have found is what fairy tales are made out of. The only difference between our life and a fairy tale is this is real life. We wake up to happily ever after every day. That’s not to say we haven’t had our share of ups and downs, but we have relied on God to see us through. Rather than throwing in the towel when things got rough, we held on tighter than ever. Anyone that truly knows our story is somewhat amazed that we are still together today. I know there aren’t many men out there that would put up with what Danny has had to go through with me.
Yes I am blessed; blessed beyond all measure. So I will go in and turn down the bed and turn out the lights this late night knowing that I’ll have sweet dreams. Of what you would ask? I’ll dream about my everyday life because that’s where my sweet dreams come true is when I’m wide awake. When I awake in the morning he’ll be there lying next to me and all will be right in this world. Yes I may have lonely nights but I’ll never have a lonely life. He is the fruition of all my childhood dreams and fantasies. I live a blessed life because I decided to follow God’s direction for my life, no matter what that meant. I had to give up things I never thought I’d have to, but in the end, at the end of every day it’s worth it. Danny makes it all worth it! If you couldn’t tell, I’m madly in love with my wonderful husband but the crazy thing is, he loves me!
Melissa Fitzwilliam
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