I'm Busy....

I write about my daily events, but rarely do I write about my relationship with God. Maybe that’s because I’m ashamed that I do so little with Him. I have back slid. There’s no excuse for it, but I can tell you where it begun. When I got my job with John and Renee I thought I didn’t have the time to devote to God that I had once had because I was busy; busy being a worker of the world and not of Christ. I was busy being a wife to my husband and not a wife to the Church that is the bride of Christ. I was busy being a mom and not a child of God. Yes I was busy; too busy to be bothered by a relationship with my Savior. Where I had done nightly prayer journaling, if faded away because I needed sleep. Rather than read my Bible every night, I was busy doing computer work from home. Yes I was busy.

I have come to realize that the evil one fills our lives with so much to do and keeps us busy so we don’t make time for God. Whether it’s working outside the home, being a wife, a mom, being a housewife, we all have things that we “must do”. We must accomplish this or that, rather than devoting ourselves to Jesus. He should be my most paramount priority, and I’m ashamed to say He’s not. Maybe I take for granted that He’s always there waiting for me. But I leave Him there waiting and waiting while I go on with my daily life. Yes I am busy. I busy being on the computer, updating my Facebook, my Myspace, and of course blogging. Rather than spending time with Him right now, I’m writing on how I don’t. Yes I need a change of heart.

This morning while I was thinking over my “busy life” it occurred to me that I’m not as busy as I would like to think. Yes I do laundry, wash dishes, clean the house, devote time to my family, and “play” on the computer. But in that time I cut God out of a relationship that should be growing and flourishing. I’m the only one to blame. God hasn’t moved, I have. I’m moved on to “bigger things”, that require all my time, so I tell myself. Maybe I tell myself this so I don’t feel so guilty for leaving Him behind. But in reality it doesn’t take away my guilt. I continually beat myself up, yet there is a complacency there. I’m not apathetic towards God, I’m just busy.

I keep thinking one day He’s going to give up on me and not be there anymore. Now I know this isn’t true because I am His child and He’ll never leave me or forsake me. Yet the fear is there none the less. I think the evil one uses fear and complacency there to keep us from Him. God gently corrects us and doesn’t beat us up. That’s the enemy’s job. The enemy daily goes before God and accuses us of everything that we do that is wrong. However, because of the blood of Christ (that He shed for me) all sins are forgiven. I can’t buy into the lies of the evil one. I must believe God and all that He promises that He is and what He’ll do and what He is doing.

I guess I need to get off here and get busy. Yes, there is that word again. But I need to get busy doing a Bible study, reading my Bible, journaling in my prayer journal. Yes I need to get busy growing closer to God by doing what I can do. Yes I need to get busy!

Melissa Fitzwilliam