Unsure What to do With My Day...

I’m wondering what today has in store for me. Last night Shay and I got all dolled up again to take pictures. They turned out really well if I do say so myself. I have so much fun with her and I love her so very much! The girls and I have come so far in the last 10 years and it just blesses my heart. Each of us had our own trials, yet by the grace of God we have overcome them and have a wonderful relationship. It makes me wonder what the next 10 years has in store for us. More blessings I’m sure of, but I’m excited to see where God takes us.

Today is my grandma’s birthday and I’m wondering if I should call her or not. I really don’t want to, but I’m trying to think what the Lord would do. If I thought the phone call would be received well I wouldn’t hesitate, but I’m unsure what would come of it. I’m sure the right thing to do is to call her, but my heart pounds just thinking about it. I don’t know if I’m more scared of the unknown or the possibility of rejection. I’ve had enough rejection in this relationship to last me a lifetime, and I’m leery of more of it. I wish we had a wonderful relationship because the Lord knows I love her dearly. Growing up I had the best relationship with her and I miss that so much. She was a wonderful grandma and up until these last few years that relationship remained. Now she has been poisoned by my mom’s bitterness and hatred and it makes me so sad. I think I will call her so I have no regrets when it’s all said and done. The best way to live life is to do the right thing so when you look back you have nothing to be sorry for because you know you tried your best.

I’m not sure what I’m going to do with my day yet. I know I need to clean my bathroom badly, but the Christmas stuff needs to come down too. The Christmas stuff may take me a few days, but last year it stayed up for months after Christmas due to my depression and lack of drive to do anything. My friend wants me to go shopping for her a new phone and I haven’t seen her in over a year so I’m pretty sure I’ll go in and see her. It will be fun and I have missed her like crazy. I don’t know how that will limit me in the things I want to get accomplished today, but if nothing gets done there is always tomorrow!

Melissa Fitzwilliam