Getting Better!!!

Today isn’t over yet but it is time to sit down and put down my thoughts. It has occurred to me that many won’t read this because there’s not much worth reading. I mean after all who wants to follow the day in the life of a stay at home wife and mom. However, I will do it anyway because I think I’ve discovered that it really does help my state of mind. I get daily vent sessions built in! Not that I do so much venting as blogging, but as long as I can get these thoughts somewhere other than just my head seems to help.

I started out my day pretty early (well early for me anyways) because I had my appointment with Anita (my counselor) and I didn’t want to drive out to the house, to have to rush to get ready, only to rush back into town. That’s too much rushing! So instead I got ready early and decided to head to my favorite place, Panera. Now it’s not the food or the coffee (they have no chocolate coffee!) that draws me to the place but the company. There are older men (read 60’s-70’s) there that I just adore! We always have the greatest conversations and I feel like one of the guys at the coffee table. Today Mac, Carl, and Dave were there and we had a wonderful talk. They are always interested to hear the latest drama going on in my life and were pleasantly surprised to hear was none. Instead we filled the time with stories of the holidays and New Year. It was a nice visit even though I didn’t stay long. They miss seeing Ciara (I’ve been going there since she was 5!) and tell me I should bring her by soon. I packed up there and it was time to head to Anita’s.

On the drive up to Anita’s I really tried to think of things to tell her. It dawned on me that there wasn’t much to say even though it’s been two weeks since I’ve seen her. That within itself is tremendous progress. It use to be that I could barely make it through a week without talking to her and now I’m going two weeks and have so little to say. I wonder how much of that is due to all the blogging and purging my daily life out of my system. Of course, I can’t give the credit to the blogging either, but the credit belongs to God. The Lord has delivered me from so much in this past year that it blows my mind. He is the reason I have come as far as I have. He has provided me with a great doctor and a wonderful counselor who are both great Christian ladies and that lifts my spirits.

So I get up to Anita’s and we start going over the events of the holidays. I tell her about the progress with my mom and the fact that my resentment towards my ex-husband has really faded away. I told her I went into the holidays with few expectations and that this was the best set of holidays I had experienced in I couldn’t remember when. She was excited to hear about my growth and gave the credit to the Lord. We also talked about my quitting smoking and how I’ve done so far with it. I told her outside of a few cheats I’ve done really well. I don’t want the cigarette, I just miss the act of smoking which she says will pass with time. And I sure hope she’s right! As we came toward the end of our session it occurred to me that we have cut back from 45 minutes to 30 minutes! So there is more progress. And then she tells me I’m doing so well (and she’s proud of me!) that she thinks at the end of this month we can officially go to once every two weeks. My depression has gotten so much better that I just don’t need the weekly visits anymore! What a great day!

I came home to a sleeping family at noon! They were still out so I put on the chocolate coffee and of course hopped on the computer. I didn’t stay on incredibly long because I knew I needed to get something done around the house. Tara and I decided to fire our cleaning fairy because she wasn’t doing her job. So that meant I had to clean myself lol. I was able to get the kitchen completely clean and I worked on the living room some to. By the time I got all that done it was time to go get Ciara from school. I grabbed her and ran to the grocery store to pick up a few items. While we were there we ran into a friend from church and stood there and talked to her for about 30 minutes.

Now I’m back home and going to start dinner soon. I should get some of the Christmas stuff down, but I doubt that I will. I should go in there and work on my bathroom and that is something I probably will do! Heaven knows I need to! I’m content with the rest of the house right now and wouldn’t be too horrified if some random person walked in. I need to vacuum but Danny says he will later on and I think I’ll let him. I think I’m going to go get me something to munch on before dinner and sit down and watch TV for awhile. I seems like a good plan for the moment!

Melissa Fitzwilliam