December Already!

I can’t believe its December already! I look back over this year and wonder where the time has gone. There is so much I regret about this year and some things I truly cherish. This was also a year of first, some good and some bad. I started smoking this year and six months later I stopped. I’ve been on a rollercoaster of emotions the majority of this year and I’m ready for that to be over. I watched our girls grow and get a little older. The time has flown by so fast. I remember when none of them were driving and Ciara was still shorter than my knees. Now all but Ciara is driving, and she is almost taller than me. Enough about this though, now about today. I went to the doctor today and she thinks I’m doing really well. She scheduled to see me in six weeks as long as I continue to see Anita (the counselor). She said that I could come in sooner if need be, but I’m hoping that I can get through Christmas without any meltdowns though. For some reason I’m incredibly tired today. Maybe it was the stress of having to take Danny back to the ER last night, I’m not sure though. I think today might be a nap day. I need to be working around the house, but I just don’t have the energy. Maybe if I rest for awhile I will feel better. When I went to the doctor today I had gained so much weight it’s not even funny! I need to get out and do some serious walking and exercise. Again maybe I’ll feel like it after a nap. I really want a cigarette today for some reason. I didn’t cave the three times I went into a store, but it was hard not to. Ok I’m getting really sleepy so I guess I’m going to go lay down for awhile and try to get some rest since I didn’t sleep well last night. These nicotine patches are doing a number on my sleeping habits with so many crazy dreams. I’ll be glad when I don’t have to wear them anymore, besides that they make my arm itch. I think after my nap I will do some Bible study. That always makes me feel better. Ok I’m really going this time but I’ll be back!

Melissa Fitzwilliam