Well I don’t know where to start. So much has happened over the past few days that the thought of putting it all down almost overwhelms me. I do know I’m happy to be home and not having to work this weekend. Right now I consider it a huge relief especially after the day I had today. The one thing that has been constant in this ever changing life of mine is God. He showed Himself so strong today that it almost brings me to tears. I asked for Him and He did not disappoint me. There are times when we need for God to be so obvious and that’s what I needed from Him in these past few days and that’s what I’ve received. I am humbled beyond measure for Him to look upon me and have compassion for me.
Rather than go through the past days events I will concentrate on the events of today. As you well know I worked Monday night, Tuesday all day, and I worked this morning. I was surprised when Farry came in really early today and she said some things had happened at the store that couldn’t happen again. I was totally confused about what she was talking about and I assumed (we know where that gets you) it was over the lack of sells over the past few days. I was totally upset over the lack of sells but I didn’t think there was anything I could do differently. She started by giving me a twenty question quiz over the store and gave me twenty minutes to answer it. First of all I have test anxiety and I don’t do well with them. Second what kind of job gives you a pop quiz and grades you on it? I can understand having meetings and those kinds of things, but I’ve never been to a job that has a quiz and will continue to have them in the future.
I did the test and I knew when I was doing it that I was doing horribly. There were so many questions I just had no idea on how to answer them. Some of the questions I just left blank to show her that I wasn’t going to guess on something I had no clue on. When she graded my test I got three or four right out of twenty and she was so disappointed in me. I hate when people are disappointed in me, but I have only been working there for two weeks and how could I possibly know some of the things she had on that quiz?! I guess the problem that prompted this is that two pairs of jeans went missing while I was working. She never accused me verbally of stealing them but the way she looked at me accusingly said what she wasn’t saying. First, I don’t steal!!!!!! Second, if I even thought about stealing (which I never would!) I would at least take something that was my size! So I guess she finally decided that I didn’t take anything which was a relief but I was still fuming!!! Then she starts criticizing the way I talk to the customers. She criticized my lack of pushiness (I’m not a pushy person! I’m not going to shove the clothes down their throats the way she does!), although she didn’t call it that. She said I was approaching the customers all wrong. The list goes on and on. I had the most thorough tearing down season in I couldn’t tell you when. She reminded me of my ex-boss Renee in the words she chose.
I had prayed for an obvious answer to come from God on what He wanted me to do and if this wasn’t a sign then I don’t know what is. I had received a call Tuesday night about coming in for an interview at The Buckle and this was before all of this happened. For whatever reason (read God) I felt compelled to go on this interview because this current job wasn’t feeling like it was a fit for me. I have a hard time selling something that I wouldn’t buy myself. I have a hard time asking a customer to pay a price that I myself wouldn’t be willing to pay for. Maybe that’s been my problem in this job. Maybe I am just not boutique material. I was so excited to go on the job interview with this new store. While I was taking a break before I went to the interview Farry called me and accused me of smoking in the bathroom! That was the final straw! She said she found ashes in the toilet. I don’t know what she saw but that wasn’t it! So I went to the other job interview and the entire time I was praying they would offer me the job. I didn’t have to wait for long because within two hours they called me back asking me to come back for a second interview tomorrow and said they want to offer me a job. What I like about this store is they are not pushy the way Farry is. They let the customer choose for themselves what they want to get and don’t throw clothes at them. I think it will be a much better fit than the boutique. I really wanted to give this current job a chance, but even Danny didn’t think I should be there. And he was amazed that she was jumping at the chance to turn me into a full time employee after I had told her I wanted to be part time only. Sigh…
That was my crazy and stressful day. I wouldn’t want to relive it, but I’m also glad it happened because it was God showing me what I needed to do. When I asked Him to be obvious I had no idea He would be that clear. Danny was happy to hear about the other job offer. If I get the job tomorrow I will go to Farry and turn in my two weeks notice. I will be really nervous but I know it must be done. I don’t like the idea of working there for another two weeks, but the Lord knows what will happen. I’m suppose to come in and work with Farry on Monday morning but I’m praying once I turn in my two week notice that she won’t have me work anymore at all. Thank you for all of you who prayed about this situation. It has been a huge stress on me and was making me question whether or not I even belonged back in the work force.
Tomorrow I was suppose to spend the whole day with Ciara but as it’s turning out we’ll barely get to spend a half a day together. I have to go in to the doctor at 11:00 to get a shot in my shoulder which has been hurting me so badly. I’m praying this shot does the trick and gives me full use of my arm back. I’m just so tired of it hurting all the time. Then I have to be at the interview at 1:30 to see if I do have the position after all. Please continue to pray because I’m not out of the woods yet, but I do think I see a clearing. It will be such a relief when it’s all over. In the mean time I will continue to pray for God’s guidance and I know He will not leave me alone.
Melissa Fitzwilliam
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