I Have to Get Started...

Yesterday was a fun day. It started out early and ended late. I had to go to PT in the morning, but I had enough time to swing by Panera first. I love going to see my friends up there and as far as I’m concerned I don’t get to see them enough. Mac, Dave, and Garry were all there and we had some great conversations! I love Mac so much. He would’ve been a great dad to have, if I would’ve gotten to choose. (Although Gary S. is still my favorite dad!) I miss him so much when I don’t get to see him (Mac) and I have this fear that if anything were to happen to him I wouldn’t know until it was too late. Maybe it’s a silly fear, but it is there none the less. I told them about my potential job in Shawnee and they were sad to hear that my times there would be fewer than what they are now. But I figure God has a plan for this and I am willing follow where He takes me.

After I left there I headed up to PT. It’s such a far drive for me, but of course where ever I go it’s a far drive living so far out in the country. My neck and back were hurting me particularly bad yesterday and I could also feel the pain in my shoulder shooting up my neck and down into my back. When Norman (PT guy) asked me how I was I told him what was going on and he said he would see what he could do to fix it. He ended up massaging my shoulder, my neck, and my back and it felt so good! I don’t know that many guys that are that good (and last that long) at giving massages. However, by the end of the day it was really flared up again and giving me a horrible headache. We did the ice and heat as is normal and when I left there my headache that I had woken up with was virtually gone! I could use him again this morning as my shoulder, back, and neck are hurting again. I’m not doing anything with it during the day so the only thing I can think of is it must be getting flared up while I’m sleeping at night. Just a theory but it sounds like a good one to me.

When I left there I went tanning per usual. I love getting in the tanning bed and being able to relax almost to the point of sleep. It’s so warm in there and I think it gives me the light that I miss from the sun when it’s not out. When I don’t see the sun for days I can feel this…bumness (another Melissaism) come on me. However, when I leave the tanning salon I always feel better. If the drive wasn’t so far I would think it would do me good to go everyday that the sun wasn’t shining, but it’s a 20 mile drive in town, so 40 miles round trip just doesn’t make any sense, especially when we are trying to save every little penny and that includes on gas.

I headed home with the intent of cleaning the house. However, as usual, I got here and just felt so overwhelmed that I couldn’t bring myself to do anything. I did get out and feed all the animals early though and I love being around the horses. It’s therapeutic on some level. Loving on them and having them love back on me just feels so good. I cuddle with Carmel and he gives kisses and cuddles back. I wish the yearlings would do that too, but they are still so young and skittish that there is no hope of that happening. I also went out to check on the rabbits and the new babies that Moshie had had only to find all the babies gone. I was really bummed to see that another litter hadn’t made it although I had little hope for them in the first place. The crazy thing is, is that there is no evidence of them when I get out there. There are no dead babies to pick up, they just disappear. So I have a sinking feeling that they are eating the babies. Sick and twisted rabbits! I can’t tell when they are pregnant so it’s not like I can bring them in right before they whelp. Otherwise, that’s what I would be doing. The bunnies were out of all their food and water even though they had just been fed the other day. They were some hungry bunnies! I tried holding them for awhile, but they are not fond of being messed with. Our buck, Zucky, is so big! He’s a fatty! Gwella (doe) is pretty big too so I’m wondering if she is pregnant again. There’s no telling, but I thought these bunnies were going to be money makers and it turns out that they’re not.

I came in from that and decided to lie down for a while and watch some TV. I have missed many of my favorite shows this past week. So I laid on the couch and just relaxed. I had talked with my friend Crystal early in the day and today is her birthday so I asked her if I could take her out last night to celebrate! We chatted back and forth about what she would want to do and she couldn’t come up with any ideas. Finally I started getting ready to go out with her. I had made some dinner for Danny in the slow cooker so I knew even though I was going out to eat he would be taken care of for the evening.

Crystal decided to go to “Old Chicago” for dinner. I love a particular beer they have there so I was all about that! We ordered appetizers for dinner and had a few beers to go with it. It was a great time and I love being able to spend time with her. After dinner she wanted to go see the movie “It’s Complicated” and I hadn’t seen it yet so it sounded like a great idea. It turned out to be a cute and funny movie! We ended up not getting out of there until after midnight! So add the drive home on top of that and I ended up not getting home until after 1:00am! I was so tired! But I ended up sleeping really well last night despite the pain I was having in my shoulder. That’s pretty unusual to sleep that well when Danny is gone to work, but I was out.

I’m back on my regularly prescribed medicine again and I expect in about 2 weeks I should be feeling much better. I hate that it will take that long, but that’s how long it takes to metabolize in your system. I have great hopes that I will be feeling back to normal by the time I start my new job, Lord willing! I am excited about Monday and the possibility of this being the job. I hope it is so some of this stress can go away. As for today, I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet. Yes, I need to clean the house but again it’s so overwhelming! I know if I were to do just one room at a time it wouldn’t be so bad. So maybe I’ll start on the living room first since it’s the one that’s the most manageable. It will take me about 30 minutes to an hour to get it all cleaned up but I can’t vacuum because Danny is sleeping and it will wake him up. I’m not sure if I’ll get to the kitchen today or not, but maybe I’ll start in a little bit on it. All I know is its dreary, cloudy, and cold out today and I still have to feed all the animals and I don’t want to. I really don’t want to do anything but that just makes the depression worse and I only have one week to get the house in order before Brenna brings her new boyfriend out to the house. Yes, I have to get started!

Melissa Fitzwilliam