God is who He says He is!

I’m doing a Bible study right now, Believing God, by Beth Moore. Often we believe in God but it’s much harder to believe Him. The chapter I worked on today was God is who He says He is. This is a really good study for me right now since my faith has been struggling so much this past year. God is so big and it’s talks about not putting Him in a box. I wonder how often I do that? I know that as much as I believe in God, that during these times of trouble and depression I have struggled so much more believing Him perfect will for me and for my life. He is faithful and true in all things and I must stop relying on how I feel and concentrate on what I know to be true and that is Him. Faith is believing (not feeling) in what you know whether you have seen it or not. One thing that has been bothering me is my lack of faith in what seems to be in simple things. God and I have this thing going that He gives me great parking spaces if I take in a basket. I know it may seem crazy but it’s true. If I can trust God in parking spaces, why can’t I trust Him in all things? If He is in control in where I park why don’t I let Him control the “driving” in all my life? If I can believe Him to provide me with the perfect spot why can’t I trust Him in where He has me in my life right now? For me, right now, there are no easy answers. Why would I presume to know more than Him in my everyday life? If He really is a big God (and He is) why can’t I “let” Him be big in all things? I am always trying to “understand” why He has me here rather than resting in His promises and knowing He is completing a good work in me. There are just some things that aren’t meant to be understood. If we could understand God He wouldn’t be that big!! I am working on believing Him in all things, but I wonder how good I’m really doing in it. I am anxious to see where He takes me in this Bible study and I pray it will deepen my faith. I do believe this book can be a faith growing book if I allow Him to convict my heart and allow that change to come. My faith needs to be refined, of that there is no doubt. I just wonder how I got to where I am now to where I was when I trusted in Him completely even when we had so many trials going on. I know He can heal me from this depression if He so chooses, but I wonder why I must go through it. I wonder how this depression can be a good thing in my life, but who am I to question God? Either God is who He says He is or He is not worthy of our faith and He is a liar. But thank God He clearly states in His Word that there is no deceit in Him. He is worthy of all our faith and all our trust. This has been an uphill battle and I know I’m not to the other side yet, but by the grace of God, He will see me through this. I wonder if He not teaching me patience during this time; to be still and “know” He is God and to find a peace in all things. One thing is for sure is I have been missing a peace in my life for so long now. I still “feel” depressed, but how much of that is doubting God? Shame on me! He has done too much in my life for me to doubt Him! He continues to prove Himself over and over again. He is worthy of all the trust I have to give! Once I put all my trust in Him in all things, once again I will be able to see His glory in my life. Until I trust Him, I fear I will stay depressed and without peace. How can peace be found with so little faith in Him? Simply put, it can’t! I serve a Mighty God that can deliver me from all things. I must stop doubting His way and just follow where ever He goes. He won’t lead me into trouble, not saying there won’t be trouble along the way. But He holds me through it all and carries where I cannot walk. He carries me now even when I can’t feel it and I’m learning that it’s what you know, not what you feel, that counts. May my All Power Lord continue to prove Himself strong! I know that there is a light at the end of this tunnel because He promises never to leave me or forsake me. That’s a hard thought when I feel so unworthy of His love. But again I go back to “feeling”, when I know otherwise. He is teaching me slowly because He knows I am a slow learner. We’ve been over this before and I’m beginning to think that faith is an ongoing lesson that never ends. He is building my faith so that when other times come I won’t go back and start relying on myself again. I will go nowhere good when I choose to rely on me. I am so glad He is a longsuffering God because otherwise I fear He would have given up on me a long time ago. He blesses me with so much and I am worthy of none of it. What an awesome God we serve! It’s by His grace alone that I am called His child. He teaches me gently and lovingly and I am so thankful for His patience. God is who He says He is of this I am certain!

Melissa Fitzwilliam