Shine on Me...

I sit here in the gloominess of the morning, desiring to offer the world something other than what I am. My apathetic style towards life leaves something greater to be desired. I long to offer a sweet something from my mind, but there is nothing to be found. The rain has washed all the creativeness away. So I sit here longing to have a conversation with someone I can be honest with, having no fear of what judgment that might come. I want my curiosity of life back, just longing to be intrigued by its intricate weaving, how it flows and moves. Instead, I sit in the morning rain, wishing for much, but longing to do nothing. It’s not the rain, nor the storms, that has washed away the creativeness or the will to do anything other than the selfishness absorbed notions of my heart; but I have been robbed of it all from a past that is unwelcomed and unwanted. Will I dwell on what I have no control over, or will I choose to get up and do what can be done today? Will I let another day pass me by wanting for what can never be, or will I make the most out of what God has offered me today? No doubt, He sits here with me, while I drink my morning coffee, waiting for me to take a hold of opportunities that He has waiting on me. I cannot long to offer the world something I am not; including the sweet something’s that may or may not be. I can only offer them what broken parts of me I am able to give. It was not the rain that washed anything away, but the tears of an unrequited past, blind sighting me. He will bring me all the conversation that I long for, with no fear of judgment, because He promises that was finished upon the cross. He will offer all of me back, when I will choose to take my eyes off me and turn them back on Him. It is when I behold Him that I can look past the rains of the morning and see the Son shining on me and all that I do. As the rains pour own this morning, it makes all things new, as He too, will make me new. The clouds must come and the rain must pour in order that the grounds be refreshed and revived. It’s through that Living Water that I must feed off and drink in whole. As I do I will feel His grace wash over me cleansing all that I would claim is unclean, making whole that which is broken, healing that which is hurt. If I continue to dwell on the things He’s shown me that He has vindicated then I am robbing myself of His beautiful present to me, called the present. Today will bring the rains and I am not certain if tomorrow will bring the Son, but the Spirit calls out to me to join Him now, and leave the tears behind because no matter what the Son is shining on me now.

Melissa Fitzwilliam