Searching For...

I’m running away, I’m running to;
I’m running in every direction but not to You
In life’s path that’s always ever winding
I’m searching desperately, but never really finding
How did I get so far; what am I searching for?
When did I begin to think anything but You could ever give me more?
I don’t know how many tears I’ve cried; crying out to You
I’m dying to find myself changed and made into something new
How long will I search for something else to give me all I need; to fulfill my heart’s desires?
When all You want to do is to take me to places better than my dreams, for Your wings are so much higher
How long will I search for You when You found me long ago?
How long will I cry out for Your love when all this time You’ve been rocking me, telling me You love me so?
My yesterdays are filled with pain and tears and my tomorrows are filled with unknown fears
But today Your arms are wide open longing to gather me near
I want to be made into the image of purity yet because of my past it was taken from me
But I cannot understand that through Your blood that’s not how You see me
How long will I fight You when doing it hurts me so?
When will I come to understand Your plan is not my foe?
When will I give up this painful striving and come to You humbly on bended knee?
So You can hold me close and tell me that never had You left me
My search will finally be over when I find what I was searching for
For in You are all my heart’s desires and how could I need to search for more?

Melissa Fitzwilliam