Overall...

Overall it was a better. It was nice having Pastor Don and Jean over for lunch and I think they will be great friends. I told them about me going through the depression today, but not much in details. Danny and Ciara were a huge help last night as they helped me clean the house. I feel better with the house being clean on the outside, but step inside one of the rooms and you’ll see what I really feel on the inside. I’m a mess. I feel like my family is at such a disadvantage having me being the way I am right now. I am so blessed to have my family, yet many times I don’t feel like they are so lucky. I know the days are getting better than what they were but it seems to be taking so long. Each day that passes that I am paralyzed in this depression is a day I never get back. I’m losing time out of my life and I can never make it up. My family misses me and so do I. I miss the ability to carry on a meaningful conversation without struggling for words. I feel so awkward like I’m trying to learn how to do it all over again. It feels like there is so much I have to relearn how to do. I just pray God gives me the grace to get through this time and when I come out on the other side closer to God, my family, and a better understanding of myself.

Melissa Fitzwilliam