It’s been such a full week of work. I’m not complaining at all, it keeps me busy and that is so much better than being bored! I had a day off yesterday and spent the day running around town. I had two doctors appointments and a vet appointment for Elowyn. I took a hard fall on Saturday and hurt my bad shoulder and the hip I’ve had two surgeries on. The bruising and swelling is so bad on my hip!! I was in the closet putting some clothes away and didn’t realize I was standing on a plastic bag. When I went to lean over to hang the clothes up the bag slipped with me on it and I landed on some crutches. It was so bad I almost started crying. So I had the doctor look at that and he says it will take a couple of weeks for the swelling to go down and for the bruising to go away, but it may take longer for the soreness to go away. I also went and saw Misty my psychiatrist. She had upped my Cymbalta a few weeks ago and I can’t tell you how much better I feel on it! It has made a huge difference in my depression! I’m actually up cleaning the house now (with tremendous help from my wonderful husband) and also cooking when he doesn’t cook.
One thing that has changed recently is Danny is doing so much more around the house!! He is even fixing dinner when I work so I don’t have to come home and cook after a long day at work. He has also been fixing all my lunches and writes me the sweetest notes to go in my lunch bag! I have to say I look forward to that more than anything else. He is such a godsend and I am so blessed to have him. He is still having issues with his job and nothing has been resolved yet. As a matter of fact we haven’t heard a thing from them as far as coming up with a resolution to fix the current issue. Danny is getting so frustrated just sitting around the house. I try to tell him how very much I appreciate him, but I don’t think I do a very good job at it. I feel like he needs more affirmation now that he’s staying at home just to let him know that what he does is important and so much appreciated. He is really considering just retiring and saying to heck with the whole thing. He’s been thinking about some jobs he could get or a business he could start with his payout on his retirement. I just keep telling him to pray about it and God will lead him to the right thing. God has never failed us before and He’s not about to start now.
I work tomorrow and there is also a surprise birthday party for my mom tomorrow night. I was actually invited to it but I think that was because they knew I would bring Ciara. I really don’t want to go but I don’t see how I can get out of it. My childhood abuser will be there and I always get sick to my stomach at the possibility of seeing him. I know he can’t hurt me now, but it just brings up horrific memories of the past. Someone suggested that I just let Ciara go to the party but there is no way I would let her go without me! I don’t want her alone with him, near him, or anything of the sort!!! I’m trying to stay as positive as I can about it, but I have to admit it’s hard. This is one of those things where I need God to show Himself strong and help me put to rest the demons of my past. I go to counseling for it, but I don’t know that you truly ever get really over it. It made me who I am today and while I don’t know why God allowed it, I stand strong in the fact that it did happen for a reason. The one thing is it has made me so proactive in teaching Ciara about how to not be abused. I have said it to all my girls! I want to be the example of what they don’t have to let their life be like. No one should be traumatized the way I was! I think that with much prayer all will go well tomorrow. It is my prayer that my mom have a great birthday especially since it is her 50th!
As I mentioned earlier, I took Elowyn to the vet yesterday to confirm her pregnancy and sure enough she is pregnant! We are looking for the puppies to be born somewhere between the end of May and the first of June. I have puppitis so bad right now it isn’t even funny. I got on the computer and looked up all kinds of Hebrews names so we can name the puppies when they are born. I know they won’t keep the names but it just makes me happy to do so. We are also talking about getting another puppy when we sale the rest of ours. We are going to get a miniature red dachshund and we are naming her Anayah which means the Lord has answered. And He has answered so many of our prayers! I am now feeding Elowyn two scrambled eggs a day (one in the morning and one at night). She has gained three pounds in her first month of pregnancy so we are thinking she’s going to have quite a few puppies. The vet couldn’t feel any of them yet, but she said it was a little too soon to be able to do so. They gave Elowyn a worm test which she passed, so no worms for us!!! They went ahead and gave her a wormer medicine just to be on the safe side. I can’t wait to start taking pictures of her as she starts to get bigger! I need to go get batteries for my camera so I can capture all these magical moments!
Other than that life has been pretty normal. My new schedule is getting up and taking Ciara to school, then coming home to get ready for work, heading off to work and working, then going to get Ciara after school, and then finally coming home. When I get home I normally start to try to do something on the house. Many days I come in and Danny’s been so hard at work that there’s not much for me to do! Don’t get me wrong, our house is in such a shape that there is still plenty to do but he is always encouraging me to go sit down and relax. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband! Oh, I forgot, I did go shopping today after work and picked me up the cutest Easter dress! I tried on eight different dresses and it turned out I bought the first one I tried on! I was tempted to buy some shoes too, but I figured I had plenty at home that I could wear! And besides the shoes they had there wasn’t anything I just couldn’t live without. Showing some restraint here and it’s a good thing! Also I have missed blogging so much! However, my family needs me after I get home from work and the only reason I’m on here now is because Danny is busy and Ciara is with my ex-husband tonight so it gives me some free time! I do go to see Anita on Monday and I am anxious to see how she thinks I’m progressing. I hope she gives me two thumbs up and moves me to coming just once a month. I think I have finally gotten there! It has been a long year, but I’m getting better all the time. God has healed me from the depression and introduced me to wonderful doctors who know of medicines that can keep me on an even plain. I guess that’s it. I can’t wait to celebrate the resurrection of our Savior this weekend! So Happy Easter to everyone and all I can say is He is Risen!!!!
Melissa Fitzwilliam
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So glad to hear from you! I knew you'd probably post less with all the working you're doing but it's good to catch up. Praise God for your healing from depression. I was at a Maundy Thursday service at our church & was hit with such deep gratitude for Him healing me of my depression it was like a wave hit me and the tears just came. What a great God we have. Happy Easter!
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