God is Moving in a Mighty Way!!! Praise Him on High!!!

Again it’s been so long since I’ve been on here that I have a hard time remembering everything that’s happened since I was on here last. There is one major thing that’s happened and I will get to that in a minute but what I can tell you is God is moving in a mighty way! I love to see Him at work in a tangible way!!! He never ceases to amaze me and what I’m finding out is sometimes He makes you wait on prayer request but when He finally answers them He so far surpasses your expectations that it’s awe-inspiring! Even as I sit here I see Him moving in ways I couldn’t imagine. He’s keeping it coming and it washes over me like a warm ocean tide. It’s refreshing and exhilarating at the same time! I am humbled by His goodness and amazed at His never-ending love!

First for what I consider to be the biggest news since I was on here last…Danny retired!!!! He got the call last week to return to work on his regular shift and he was a nervous wreck about it. I really felt God laying on my heart the need to show Danny total commitment and support in his decisions and actions in this situation. I think I felt it stronger than I’ve ever felt it before. It was a burden God placed on my heart so strongly that I actually felt weighted down by it until I expressed myself to Danny in my desire to stand by him in whatever decisions he made. You could visually see the relief in his countenance when I told him he had my support in whatever he decided to do. He told me he would go back the first night to see how they treated him and if it went badly he would turn in his retirement papers first thing Thursday morning. Well as the day wore on Wednesday he continued to feel heavier and more sick the closer the time came to him having to go in. He couldn’t sleep (and he needed to considering he works the midnight shift), he was sick to his stomach, he had a headache, and felt so stressed that it was weighing him down. He called me at lunchtime and asked how I would feel if he retired. I reaffirmed that I would stand beside him and support him in whatever decision he made. I told him how important it was to follow God’s leading and listen to His calling. I can’t tell Danny what God is telling him to do (although I felt God laying on my heart the need for Danny to retire) because on Danny knows what He’s telling him to do. So Danny called in and told the captain that he was taking one of his floating holidays for that evening but as of Thursday he would retire. The captain tried to change Danny’s mind but once he had his mind made up there was no dissuading him. I was so proud of him!!! I told him that he had been through so much on the police department and for him to last as long as he did was an amazing thing. He had on 23 ½ years (closer to 24) and is retired with honors! He has to get a job for us to be able to make it, although he doesn’t know what God is calling him to do yet. So he’s going to take a month off, pray about what God would have him do and then do it!!! It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions but I’m excited about starting this new chapter in our lives!

Now obviously y’all can see God moving in the above situation, but it doesn’t end there!!! God has been dancing through our lives with such amazing grace and it’s so exhilarating because He leaves us breathless and giddy through His continued turns and twist. It’s not that God is good right now because He’s moving with such obvious purpose right now; He’s good all the time!!! He has brought me through a horrible depression and held me when I felt so alone. He’s been there with us and providing for us when we didn’t know how we were going to make it financially (as He’s doing at the current moment). I feel like I have been so faithless in so many situations and God just proves me wrong every time my faith is so weak. We serve such a mighty God!! He captured my heart and holds it with such care. There is nowhere I would rather me than in His arms. I pray I can be this trusting when (because I am bound to) things are going so great. But now onto the next chapter of His amazing movement in our lives.

For the longest time now my mother (and grandmother because they live together) and I have had the most horrible relationship. She has hated Danny since we got together (10 ½ years ago) and while she would treat him civilly in front of Ciara but that was the best we could hope for. Her distain for us both was so obvious. She was totally disgusted with the both of us and she had no qualms of showing it. It would take me days to write the extent of the whole story so I’ll bear you the long drawn out story. Please understand I am not blameless in this story and I wouldn’t want to portray myself that way. However, for years now both Danny and I told her we would be here waiting with open arms when she decided to forgive us our wrongs and stop being so mad at us. Until she could accept Danny she would reject me and our family as well and we told her that. I limited how much she could see Ciara (and she saw her once a month at school, sounds harsh I know but I haven’t gotten into the worse of the situation to explain my stance on that) and she hated me all the more. So imagine my surprise when I start hearing from her out of the blue. Now for years Danny and I have been praying for reconciliation in the relationship and I figured unless God’s divine hand was in the situation nothing would change. I decided to call her one day and see about Ciara and I getting a pedicure from her and it’s like the door was thrown open. She started inviting us to dinner. She offered to cut our hair for free. She calls just to call and chat. I can’t begin to explain how bizarre this feels! It’s so surreal! I think there are few relationships that are as important as the mother/daughter relationship and I’ve been missing ours for so long now. I felt like an orphan in this world. I don’t know who my father is (my mom swears she knows but the man in question swears he’s not and there’s no way he could be so I’ve decided there’s no point in getting in a nasty situation that’s better left alone!!!) and my mom has totally rejected me. It was then I drew close to God as my Father because He was all I had as a parent and I have to say He is all I need. But in any case I am loving this turn of events! It’s blessing my heart to such an extent it leaves me speechless! I’ve often thought my mom has BPD (borderline personality disorder and I think it’s still a possibility) and if she does then she is just going through another phase of this disorder. I’m not going to have any great expectations but enjoy what God is giving to me. I pray that if she does have BPD that God heals her from it completely. Ciara asked me what had changed and I told her outside us praying constantly for a change I wasn’t sure. So Ciara asked my mom what had changed and mom said she just got tired of being mad. Praise God on high!!!!! Bitterness is a sick cancer of the soul that steals joy and robs the person of all they could have in this life. I have long known that my mom was filled with bitterness for different reasons and I had promised myself I would never be that way. So far God has heard my prayer and kept me from a life of bitterness. For a while I let it creep in but counseling quickly pointed it out and I began cleansing my life of it. I could go on forever so I better stop while I’m ahead (even though this has been so incredibly long!). But I’ll keep everyone updated on how God continues to work in this relationship.

Work has been going well. Not much change in that. Ciara did get a new bunny (mom bought her one). She named him Starbucks and he’s a dutch and not a lop eared. I guess the only different is we won’t have pure bred bunnies but I don’t see where it will matter much. She misses Zookie like crazy (he was such a good bunny) and is hating Rucka but I think in time she will come to understand that dogs hunt rabbits and Rucka was only doing what came naturally to her. She can’t be blamed for doing what she is! Brenna just had her 25th birthday yesterday and Shannon has been to Texas for band contest, is going to JazzFest in Louisiana, and prom here pretty quick. She’s been a very busy girl! School will be out in a month and so summer will begin. God will continue to move us and we will allow ourselves to be moved by Him. I can’t wait to see what He has planned for us next. I am looking forward to seeing what He does with Danny in this retirement situation. Soon we will have a retirement party for him down at Ma’s house and then we’re having a wine tasting party for Brenna for her 25th birthday. Lots of things going on!!! The other big thing is I got my patches in to quit smoking. I’m on my first day of not smoking and to be honest I already miss it. I hope God takes away the desire to smoke completely! I’m not craving the nicotine because I have a patch on, but it’s the act of smoking that I miss. I think I have really decided to go get hypnotized when we get our tax money in. I’ve heard that getting over the nicotine cravings is easy, it’s getting over the mental desire for one that’s so amazingly hard and I would agree with that. However, I’m trying to rely on God and I know this is what He would have me to do. I guess I better get off here now. This has been so long!! Sorry for the length, but I wanted to get everyone caught up on the latest. Please be in prayer with me as I continue to try to quit smoking and please pray that God would be obvious in showing Danny what job He wants him to have. Also please pray for the relationship with my mom. We covet your prayers!!! Take care and God bless you all.

Melissa Fitzwilliam