Rest In Peace Zukkie....

Wow I get on here to blog and I have a hard time remembering everything that’s happened because it’s been so long since I’ve been on here! I was looking at the blogspot and it looks like I’m able to blog about once a week, which isn’t near enough! I’m still use to getting on here and blogging everyday which is what I like best, but it just isn’t possible anymore. As a matter of fact, I’m rarely on the computer anymore at all. I miss getting on facebook and myspace and talking with all my friends and family. Now don’t get me wrong I still love my job, but there are certain things that I miss about staying at home. Now the nice thing has been is when I went to work, Danny started staying at home and I’ve determined that he made a much better stay at home husband and dad than I made as a stay at home wife and mom. He cleans, he cooks, he gets outside chores done, he just stays so busy. But more about that in a minute.

I started out Monday with the day off. I decided that would be my errand day. So first thing I went to Panera Bread and spent the morning with my favorite guys there, Mac, Gary, and David. Mac is my all time favorite! He’s in his seventy’s and just as sweet as he can be! We always enjoy getting caught up on life events and just shooting the breeze. While I was there I saw a friend of Danny’s whom he had lost contact with. I was thinking, “I knew God wanted me here for a reason this morning”! So I called him over and come to find out David (different David than the one I drink coffee with) and Mac are friends! It’s such a small world! So I told David Danny had been wanting to get a hold of him but that all his phone numbers had changed. So I was able to get all of his phone numbers and passed them on to Danny. After that I headed to Anita’s and we had a great talk. There’s always so much to catch up on! Especially going three weeks without seeing her. But since so much has changed with Danny’s job (get to that in a sec) and considering it’s affected my depression she decided she wanted to see me back in two weeks rather than three weeks. I was actually hoping to go to once every four weeks, but I know I’ll get there soon. When I was done there I ran to the tanning bed. I love going there. Yes, I know it’s bad for you but I still love it. Also when that was finished I decided to run to Hibbon’s Tires. Our car has been shaking really bad since we got the new tires on it about two months ago and they were suppose to balance them and fix the front end alignment. Hibbon’s has this neat thing that if a woman brings it in they don’t charge her a thing! So I told them the problem and they said not only would that rebalance the tires but they would also rotate them for free!!! But the bad news was is it was going to take an hour and a half. So I walked down to our local Sonic (eating joint) and ordered me some breakfast. I sat outside (they don’t have inside dining) in the horrible, chilly wind, but it was nice to smell the fresh air. Then it was off to home. I didn’t want to spend the evening at the house so Danny took me out to eat Pho . It was a nice evening out! I love our date nights.

Danny finally heard back from his job the other day and they want him to come back. He’s been off now for a month and a half and while I still can’t go into the details because there may be a lawsuit in the future. He really is torn because he’s at the point now (after the way they’ve done him) that he doesn’t want to go back. He is really considering retiring. So yesterday we sat down and figured out the bills (because we would be able to pay a ton off once he retires) and we able to see that while he could retire and we would be in an ok place, he would still have to get another job. He doesn’t know what he would do but he has been working on his resume. He’s actually really tore up about this because he has no clue what the Lord wants him to do. He knows what he wants to do, which is retire, but he really wants to do what the Lord is calling him to do. I told him if the Lord isn’t pointing him in a certain direction then sit still and know He is God and within time God will show him exactly what to do. God answers us in three days, yes, no and wait. I told Danny whatever he decides I will stand behind him 100%! I think he needs that affirmation that I support him in what he decides to do. I will miss him being a stay at home husband and dad because he’s done such a great job at it. He was trying not to be bored but in the process he got so much accomplished! He said he would like to stay on as what he’s doing now (staying at home) and we both laughed. One thing we both learned is he’s great at it!

Work has been going well as usual and I find myself so happy there! Even on the days when there is nothing to do there is still this sense of contentment. The only thing I wish is that they would work me more hours. Last week they worked me three days and they are doing the same this week. I really need to be working five days a week and on the weekends I don’t have Ciara I need to work the weekend through. I don’t know how to approach Natalie about this, but the one thing I’m learning is I have to stop spending money up there!!! I think my whole paycheck is going to buy clothes. I didn’t have enough to begin with to work in since it’s so laid back there, but with clothes in layaway and the ones I have bought I will have plenty now. I have found it’s hard to have self-control when I see all the other girls buying clothes and to be honest the clothes they have up there are so cute. The other thing is when I buy clothes I know they will fit both Ciara and I so they are doing double duty. She’s already been in my closet trying to steal my clothes, so I know if I can’t find something I need to go in her room and check to see if it’s in there.

On a positive note things seem to be improving with my mom and me. Since I went to her surprise birthday party she seems to have changed some. Now the party was a little awkward because of the people who were there but I have to say mom really did try to be nice. Grandma still seems distant at best but I keep praying things will get better. Ciara is really encouraged by the improvement but I don’t want her to get her hopes up too much. I called her on Thursday to see if she wanted to give Ciara and I a pedicure since she is opening her own beauty salon and she is licensed to do those. To my surprise she said sure so we headed over there. Afterwards, she took us out for dinner and while we are far from where we should be we are still so much better than what we were. I’m going over to her shop again on Thursday and I’m going to let her cut my hair and to be honest about it I’m a little nervous. She is still new at this and I don’t want her to mess it up, but it’s a free hair cut and a chance to spend some time with her. I’m praying it all goes well.

In some sad news, yesterday Ciara went out to feed the bunnies. While she was in there Shannon’s dog, Rukka, stuck her head in the door and grabbed Ciara’s buck, Zukkie. Rukka ran off with Zukkie and Ciara was screaming and crying and chased after her. She was able to get Zukkie back and I had gone running after Ciara as soon as I heard her scream. Zukkie seemed ok and wasn’t punctured anywhere but he was breathing so hard and fast I was a little concerned about him. Well Ciara took him back to the bunny hutch and tried to put him down and he rolled over to his back. He tried to get up and his back legs wouldn’t work. I had checked his spine when I was looking at him and it seemed fine and intact. So Ciara decided to bring him into the house to keep an eye on him until he started feeling better. Well before she was able to make it to the stairs to come inside, he went completely still. She started bawling and I could hear her from the deck on the other side of the house but I had no clue what was going on. So I took off running again and I rounded the corner and she had tears just streaming down her face. She says she thinks Zukkie is dead. I go over there and can’t find a heartbeat and he isn’t breathing. I try to take him from Ciara but she won’t have it. So I tried doing chest compressions while she was holding him but I didn’t have any luck. She was so devastated!!! It was her most favorite rabbit! And he was a pretty cool little lop ear bunny. He was so pretty and pretty sweet as far as rabbits come. She talked with my mom and my mom told her she would buy her another baby lop ear rabbit. She is so mad at Rukka it isn’t even funny!!! Danny tried to explain that dogs just do that, that it’s in there instinct, but Ciara wouldn’t hear it. In her mind the dogs should understand that the rabbits are pets and leave them alone. Anyway, her heart will heal with time just keep her in your prayers.

As for me I’ve had a headache all weekend and my should has gone from bearable to excruciating! It hurts so bad that it makes me want to cry! I’m going to have to go to the doctor one day this week so he can figure out why it’s getting worse rather than better. I’ve also taken three, no four, doses of headache medicine and it still isn’t gone. It needs to be gone by tomorrow because I have to go into work! Also I’m enjoying the warming sun of spring and can’t wait for hot summer to get here. Yesterday and today Ciara and I went and laid out and I got some pretty good sun! However, the sun didn’t help my headache at all. So I came in a took a nice long nap. I’m thinking I’ll go to bed pretty early tonight and try and kick this thing for good. Sorry this is so long! That’s why I like to blog everyday and not just once a week because the blogs get so long and as it is I’ve left so much out! However, I’m wrapping it up now! I pray that all you who read this have a blessed week and know I keep you in my prayers! Much love!

Melissa Fitzwilliam