Last Night's Dinner...

Before anyone could get back with me yesterday, Danny convinced me to go ahead and go to dinner without him. He said he didn’t mind and that maybe they could be more open without him there. I didn’t have any really feeling other than dread. I know these times are normally a “hash-session” if not a “dog Danny session”. I prayed the whole way in and just asked God to give me the words or to keep my mouth shut. It seemed like a simple prayer but a heart-felt one. I didn’t know what to expect, I didn’t know what I was walking into, but I thought maybe this could be the beginning of a new relationship with them. But I didn’t want to go in with high expectations only to get them doused.

So I got there and the conversation started out nice but you could feel the strain of the upcoming (the impending) conversation that was about to ensue. Mom first let me know that she really wanted it to be just the two of us rather than my grandmother being there. I think that is a bunch of bull because grandma is always with mom. Really when could me and mom sit down without grandma (to give you a clue, it just won’t happen)!? Then grandma offered to go sit in the car (like mom would let that happen!) but mom said not to worry about it. If I sat here and blogged about the entire discussion I would be here for hours venting. There are other things that were discussed that are too personal for even a blog. But it’s easy to say that the entire conversation revolved around Danny. I don’t know how they knew some of the things they knew (and the fact they knew it made me mad!!!!!) but they brought up much of me and Danny’s personal life and I instantly felt sick. I could tell this is how the rest of the evening would go. The long and the short of it is; they don’t trust Danny, they don’t think he’s “kept” me in the fashion I deserve, they are concerned for my well-being with him, etc, etc. Some of the things they brought up were a punch in the stomach, some of the things I could see where they might be coming from. But for the majority of the meal (that I ended up eating two bites of!!! because I got so sick to my stomach from the things they were saying) I kept my mouth shut. When the Lord gave me a word, I said it. For most of the meal I was on the defensive which is nothing new with them. I would say I can’t believe it went the way that it did, but how naïve for me to think it would go any other way!!!

I texted them back this morning and gave them a little peace of mind (I would like to say piece, but I didn’t) on an area that they were concerned about Danny. They are saying that it will take time to trust him and that they are leaving it in God’s hands. I’m the type of person that doesn’t like to dwell on the past, but move on with the here and now. When you look back you miss the current moment and was that look back worth loosing that moment that you just missed. I don’t know what I’m going to do from here. Danny is a non-negotiable! Either they accept him or they reject me. I would like to continue to work on the relationship, but I’m not going to let it get in the way of my marriage. When I came home and told Danny everything that was said, he was crushed in many ways. He felt attacked (and I don’t blame him) and like they were trying to force a wedge between the two of us. I assured Danny that there was no way they could ever come between us!

One thing I haven’t mentioned is the help that I got from my mother-in-law, Lois (ma). She was a tremendous help to me yesterday and let me cry on her shoulder. She truly is a wonderful mother!! I am blessed to have her in my life! We have had a few rocky moments in our time together, but over the course of our relationship, she has been the mother I have longed to have. She loves me as a daughter and that means so much to me. I have been fully accepted into Danny’s family I just wish my family would accept him in as well.

Well I worked today and I’m off tomorrow. Danny and I need to run some errands tomorrow and then when we get done with the retirement stuff we are going to the art fair. It’s going to be raining tomorrow but it should still be a nice day with my hubby! This whole thing stressed me out, but I came home and laid in his arms and the problems of the world just melted away. Now that’s a way to end a day! I think I shall end this day in the same fashion I did yesterday and I think I will end every day for the rest of my life that way. Watch out world!!! No one comes between me and my man!

Melissa Fitzwilliam