A Pretty Good Easter!

Well Easter was a pretty good day. I always look forward to this time of year. The main differences this year is we didn’t watch “The Passion” (which we normally do) and we didn’t have our Seder dinner. I really miss that part! The Seder dinner is always such a fun time for me; I really enjoy eating what our Savior ate at His last supper. We even do the Kosher wine, bitter herbs, haroset, and the matzos crackers. It’s a great observance that I think everyone should take part of. I find myself closer to my Savior as I partake in it and find myself in awe at the practices that they did. We even remove the yeast out of the house and have Ciara ask the questions that the child ask at the Passover dinner. The kids are not fond of the bitter herbs, but I tell them it is important to remember how bitter our sins are to our Lord. I find that I have missed so many communions that I really needed it this year, but didn’t get it. I think I’m going to have Danny lead our family in communion since we have all the elements. I think it would be really special.

Now one major drawback to Easter was my mother-in-law invited my ex-sister-in-law to dinner. My brother-in-law was not happy about it all. Especially considering his current wife was in El Reno with her family and my mother-in-law (Ma or Lois is how I refer to her) didn’t bother to tell him that she was coming. It was awkward at best! Finally Steve (my brother-in-law) went up to BJ (my ex-sister-in-law) and told her that her being there would end up causing him a divorce! She finally left and just in enough time for my sister-in-law, Tanya, to show up. Steve didn’t want Tanya to find out that BJ had been with us for dinner and went to him mother and told her that he didn’t appreciate her inviting BJ over without checking with him first. I can’t blame him. I think it was very underhanded for Ma to do that! She’s done that to Danny and I before by inviting Danny’s ex, Marcia, over without us knowing about it. She thinks we should all be fine with it, and maybe we would be if we had some advance notice, but she always does it without us knowing. Well Tanya found out that BJ had been there and she blew up at Steve. I can’t blame her for being mad! I would be mad if my mother-in-law invited over my husband’s ex and he spent the holiday with them and not with me. However, knowing what I know, I would be upset with her and not my husband. It’s a difficult situation and we are praying it all turns out well. I’m going over to talk to Tanya tonight and see if I can help her to understand the situation a little better and get her unmad at Steve.

Today I had the day off. I had an appointment with Anita this morning and it went very well. She confers that I am doing so much better than I was a year ago that it is a miracle. I owe it all to God, that He gave the doctors the knowledge on medication, and that He, Himself, has delivered me from so much. Before I went to Anita’s though, I went to Panera Bread. There are some older men there (like 70’s) and I met them back in 2003. Since then we have become great friends and when I get the chance I love going in and having coffee with them. We did some catching up and it was obvious the Lord wanted me there this morning because I saw one of Danny’s dear friends who he had lost contact with. So I was able to get his number for Danny and we caught up on the latest goings on. I left here and then headed to Anita’s. When I got through with Anita (which she had a lot to say on Danny’s current job situation) I headed to the tanning salon. I love tanning! I know it’s bad for you, but for me there is nothing better than soaking up some Vitamin D and letting your worries melt away under the glare of sun lamps. After that the car has been shaking bad lately so Danny wanted me to take the car in and check the balance on the tires. Where we go, if a woman comes in and ask for it, they don’t charge you! And since they were unbalanced they threw in a tire rotation for free! However the wait was for an hour and a half! So I walked down to Sonic and got me some breakfast and sat outside in the nice breeze and enjoyed the afternoon. Finally my car was done and it drives so much better now! Then it was off to the store to pick up a few necessities and then to the bank to deposit a check in our savings account. After that my errands were done and so I headed home.

Once I got home there was plenty to do! I made our bed, matched up socks, folded laundry, fixed the back bedroom for the girls, and washed some more clothes. I ate some matzos and smoked a few cigarettes and now I’m blogging. Danny and I have thrown around a few ideas for the evening tonight. We would like to go over to Gary and Jan’s house (Ciara’s godparents and my adopted parents lol) and play some cards. However, we haven’t heard back from them yet so we don’t know about that. We have also talked about going and getting some Pho (a Vietnamese soup) and coming back home and watching a movie. I’m not sure what we’ll end up doing but we will do something once Danny wakes up from his nap. So now I have to figure out something to do until then! This is when I wish I was at work…at least then I would have something to do other than being bored! Well I guess I better get off here, although there is nothing else to do, I’ve run out of things to share. Maybe I’ll try to do some writing today (poetry) since it’s such a peaceful day.

OH!!! I know what I forgot about!!! My mom had a surprise birthday party on Friday night. I thought my childhood abuser would be there but as it turned out it was a party for women only. I can’t tell you how relieved I was! I know the only reason I was invited was because I had Ciara. At times it was so awkward and strained, but I’ve become use to it. I really do feel like the preverbal “black sheep” around my family. It’s a shame that we don’t have a better relationship, but it’s in the hands of God. We stayed for a few hours and I got her a gift card to Sally’s Beauty Supply since she is opening up her own hair salon. I just found that out on Friday too. Come to find out also is that Ciara told my mom that I was smoking. She wasn’t happy to say the very least. She told me I needed to stop and what she doesn’t realize is it makes me want to smoke all the more! “You say I can’t, well just watch me!” Yes it’s that old rebellion creeping back in! I have to get over it so I can really stop smoking. I want to want to stop, but I’m just not there yet. I don’t want to be a smoker, but for whatever reason I’m not ready to give it up just yet. Please pray that God delivers me from this and works the rebellion out of my heart. I know in the end I’m only hurting Him and me! That should be enough to make me quit, but again I’m just not there. Almost, just not quite.

Ok, now I think I’ve gotten down everything that’s happened over the last few days. I’m off work again tomorrow and I think we are going to the Arbuckle’s to watch Ciara sing in a contest. It’s quite a drive and she’s only singing two songs, but it will be a nice trip away for Danny and me. Maybe I can talk him into stopping by Sulfur Springs and taking a scenic drive. It would be really nice! It’s my most favorite place in the world. I never feel closer to God than when I’m in Sulfur. It’s filled with His awesome beauty and it just takes my breath away! Yes it will be a nice little get away! Praying for you all (ya’ll lol) and I hope everyone is doing well. I pray you had a great Easter and felt the Lord’s presence and awesome power flowing through you. At the end of the day He is the only thing that matters! He’s arose, praise God on High! What a mighty God we serve!

Melissa Fitzwilliam