'Tis the Season....For Doctor's

It’s that time of year again when I go to all my different doctor’s and get my check-ups. I really don’t like this time of year but it’s necessary. I’m hoping one of the doctor’s can tell me why I seem to be gaining so much weight. I started gaining weight after I had my gallbladder taken out and I’ve never hit a plateau. My mom was working on my fingernails and toenails and she said they showed signs of my thyroid being slow. I hope this isn’t the case because once you start on thyroid medicine you can never get off of it. However, I’m not eating any different than I use to and I’ve even cut back on my calorie intake, but the weight is still piling on. I feel fat, I look fat, I just feel gross. I also haven’t seen Anita in over a month, since my eye surgery, and I have so much to tell her. I need to see my eye doctor to make sure the second surgery was a success and I need to see my physiatrist to make sure my medicine is where it should be. I also am going to bring up the dreams I keep having and hopefully one of them will have an answer for what’s going on.

Money is starting to get tight again and it’s back to me hating to pay bills. It’s what I need to do today, but I just dread it. The work from Danny’s business is slow coming in. We have several contracts but it’s been too wet to work. I’m beginning to see how much the weather plays a factor in this kind of work and I wonder what will happen come winter time. It makes me so nervous! This also means I have to start curbing my buying habits. It’s so hard working in freight and seeing all these cute clothes come in and to say no to buying them. I need more self-control. That’s easier said than done, as I already have a stash back in the backroom to buy. I only need a few more things to complete my winter wardrobe but it’s getting to the point that I can’t determine whether it’s a need or a want. Sigh…I get so frustrated with myself!

I’ve fallen off the wagon and bought me a pack of cigarettes. I’m so mad at myself!!! The good news is they taste horrible. The only reason I can think that caused the trigger is all the changes that started coming on here lately. I’m not trying to make excuses for myself, because I, myself, am trying to figure out what caused the set back. It even feels weird to be smoking. But I’m getting back on the patch and hopefully stay quit for good this time. This is harder than I ever would have thought. I know the Holy Spirit wants me to be smoke-free and I’m trying to live in His will. I’m praying this starts to get easier and I won’t cave at the slightest change in life.

Well I guess I better go and get to work. I just had a few minutes on my hands and I thought I might as well blog. It’s my stress releaser lol!!! Anayah is still doing well and the dogs are really falling in love with her. I’m still having the bad and crazy dreams and I would give anything for a good night’s rest. My neck is still hurting me and I still think I might have a touch of whiplash. Ciara is still sick but should be able to go back to school tomorrow. I will force myself to sit down later and do all the bills for this month whether I want to or not. So much to do and I have plenty of time to do it, so why am I so tired? I’m getting plenty of sleep, albeit not good sleep, but still I just feel blah. Anyway I really do have to go. I pray the Lord shines His countenance on you and blesses you beyond anything you could expect. He is a good God all the time and His love endures forever!!! Praise Him for His goodness!!!!

Melissa Fitzwilliam