Build Your House on The Rock!

Well I went to my first doctor’s appointment to check on the growth of my pre-cancer cell growth, if there is any or if the pre-cancer cells are gone. I’m praying for a good outcome since last year they seemed to be eradicated. However, that’s not to say I’m not nervous about this year’s test results. If I get a clean bill of health then I won’t have to go for another check up for three years which is exciting! But if the abnormal cell growth has started again we are going to have to start looking at other options. It will mean the D&C only worked temporarily and I’m not sure what my next option would be. I have been praying hard core about this. I’m tired of biopsies and the continuous checkups but it’s not like I can’t have them. To do that would be sticking my head in the sand and possibly bringing me to the point of chemo and radiation which is the last thing I want. It is a very real threat! So please pray with me that there is no new growth but most importantly that God’s will be worked out in my life.

In other news, Friday night Danny and I (with Rick and Kathy) went to the state fair. We always go back there because it’s where we first met and where we got engaged. I can’t believe it’s been eleven years! In some ways the years have flown by in and other ways crawled by, both in good ways and in bad ways. We have made it through more stuff than most couples I know. Our marriage is strong and still filled with the same love. I guess it’s not the same love because we are stronger now than we’ve ever been. That’s not to say it hasn’t had its complications but we have weathered the storms and come out on the shining side. Some people have regrets of some sorts, but not me. He still gives me butterflies after all these years! I know I am a very blessed person to have him in my life. God never ceases to amaze me, that He could make a love as strong as ours. We are truly soul mates. We had a great time at the fair and had way too much food, but the point in going is to remember the love we found.

Saturday was an action packed day. Ciara had a volleyball tournament that lasted most of the day. I got up early and ran to Wal-Mart to buy various fruits for the girls to snack on during the day. I bought way too much and ended up taking it with me to church today. Ciara played well even though she missed all but one practice this past week because she was sick. She’s got a nasty floor burn on her knee when she was diving for the ball and forgot to pull up her knee pads. The girls have a phenomenal coach! Jean, our pastor’s wife, coaches them and she is such an encouraging coach even when they are playing badly. They only won one game but I think they did good considering they are a first year team. The school has never had a volleyball team before so they are all still young in their learning. Ciara seems to really enjoy it and has already said she’s going out for the team again next year. She did get pretty bummed because her dad didn’t come to the games. He has yet to come to one of her games and it really hurts her. However, me, my mom, and grandma were there to cheer her on and that seemed to make it better. My ex-husband decided to go to a football game instead and Ciara said that let her know where she stood with him. My heart went out to her as she cried her tears. There wasn’t much I could do for her, but let her know she had every right to be mad and sad and that there was no shame in her tears. She did perk up as the night wore on and she ended up staying the night with us because my ex went out and partied after the game. He’ll regret all these things he’s missed one day.

As for today, I’m not sure what it’s going to hold. We went to church this morning and had a great teaching lesson. Don taught out of Matthew 7:24-29. Where do we build our house? Are we like the wise man who built his house on The Rock, or the foolish man who built his house on the sand? I’ve heard this passage taught so many times, but never before like it was taught today. It was profound! We are going to be studying Matthew 5-7, The Sermon on the Mount, for an indefinite time and trying to memorize the entire section! A hard thing to do, but doable with God. I learned much today and was touched deeply. God continues to work on me and teach me new things daily. I guess that’s what should happen as you walk with Him. The one thing that saddens me is I’m not the devoted child of God that I should be. I still live in rebellion, I don’t do my daily study time, and I put Him on the back burner too much. I take for granted that He will be there when I’m ready to come to Him, rather than staying with Him throughout the day and letting Him handle everything that comes my way. I prayed today that God would begin a new work in me and to set me afire again. I want to burn with a passion that is unquenchable! I want to be so totally in love with Him that I can’t breathe without Him. All these things I desire to be, but He won’t do it alone. I must come to Him, emptied of myself, and willing to be filled with all of Him.

Well I’m pretty sure I’ll get back on here and write again today, but for the moment I need to go get me some lunch. Danny is sick again today. He woke up throwing up so I’m assuming he has some stomach bug. That man is sick more than any other person I know! It may be nerves because the work is slow coming in and we’ve about depleted our bank account . So please pray with us that the Lord will provide us with work, more than we can handle! Pray He pours out His blessings upon us to where our cup runs over. Also be in prayer for me because I go back to my other doctors this week with the possibility of changing my depression medicine. I am certain I want to be off of one of my prescriptions because it’s making me gain so much weight. It’s an unhealthy weight! So pray that the depression doesn’t come on strong but that the Lord would deliver me from it. Pray the doctor can find the right combination of medicine to make me not depressed, yet still at a healthy weight. Thank you for your prayers in advance and know that I pray for you as well. Also if you have prayer request let me know so I can lift them up for you and if you want I’ll put them on our church’s prayer list. Be strong in Him and keep the faith. Don’t live your life for today, but live it as though you are reaching for eternity. Live and love in Him and may you be the richer for it!!! Peace and grace be with you!

Melissa Fitzwilliam