An Issue I'm Not Resolving...

I seem to have an issue that I’m not resolving. I am angry at a person that hurt me with words and spread lies about me to people that are dear to me. This happened a couple of months ago but I can’t seem to shake my anger. I’ve try praying about it, turning it over to God, but I keep taking it back. I know forgiveness is a choice that we have to make for ourselves and it’s for our own good to forgive. But my heart is angry and it feels justified in being that way. What this person did is very wrong and they claim that they love me, but they sure have a bad way of showing it. In any case there could be a possibility that I might see this person soon. I have avoided them at all cost because I’m scared that what I have to say won’t be nice at all. So I’m in a quandary of what to do. I need to go to this event or possible event and I do want to go, but this one person puts a damper on all of it. I know, I know, forgive; but it’s just not that easy. I mean I’m sure it is that easy, but for me I can’t seem to overcome that hurdle.

I woke up to Ciara being sick again today. She’s running a fever and sounds just awful. All she’s done all day is laid on the couch and slept. I hate for her to miss school again so soon but what are you going to do. She’s been eating soup and ice cream and all that good stuff. She’s still running a low fever and I’ve been giving her Tylenol but it’s not bringing it down all the way. If she still feels bad tomorrow I’ll have to call the doctor and have him check her out to see what’s wrong with her. But I’m praying it won’t come to that and that she will begin to feel better.

I’m going to be pretty busy coming up here pretty soon. I have to go for my yearly “exam” (cough cough) and I’m not looking forward to it. I am praying that I finally get a clean bill of health and that none of the pre-cancer cells have come back. I also need to go see my psychiatrist, Misty, for a check-up and also Anita. I haven’t seen Misty in six months so it’s time to revisit my meds and I’m going to talk to her about those crazy dreams I’ve been having. I have so much to tell Anita it’s not even funny!! I haven’t talked to her since before the little fender bender where the scammers tried to pull a quick one on me. I still haven’t heard back from the insurance people and I pray I don’t. I hope that thing is behind me now.

Today we had a little going away party for Natalie and Allison. I got them both a cake and I couldn’t help but cry. I also found out today another one of our assistant managers is leaving. She just had her first grandbaby and she wants to start babysitting her new granddaughter. I can’t say I blame her, but we’re losing so many people so very fast. Now I’m having dreams about that!! I will miss them all so very much! Life changes oh so very fast. In a blink what was “normal” is gone and new things are to come. The only thing I can take comfort in is I know I’m standing in God’s will so He only has good things for me and for them also.

I guess I’m going to get off here now. I’m a little hungry and very thirsty. I need to see if Ciara needs anything and then I think I’m just going to veg. Danny’s still working down at his mom’s house so the house is pretty quiet. I pray that the Lord gave you a great day and that all is going well with you. I think I’ll take a little nap for a while. It sounds good right now….

Melissa Fitzwilliam