Misery's Cry

If you could see my misery you would cry, if you could feel it your heart would break. No human should have to feel this way and go through these emotions. How long shall I walk through this hell? How long will the dark night stay? How long will these tears rain down? How long can I endure this place before I completely break? I am so miserable I feel physically ill. I could get sick at any second and maybe if I did I would feel better. I’m so sick I can’t eat, I need to eat, but I’ll get sick; it’s a vicious cycle. I’m tired, so very tired, but eyes won’t close. If my eyes close, my heart rushes and sleep won’t come. My heart races so hard, though I do nothing. Deep breathing doesn’t help; it just makes the pains in my chest hurt worse. And the tears, they’re always endless. Sometimes they are dry tears and my eyes ache so badly but not one tear will come. Other times the wetness is overwhelming and I choke on them, drowning in them. And the screams, forever they are silent and only the soft pleas make it past my mumbling lips. My prayers are simple, to be well and to feel whole once again; to be over this brokenness and this depression once and for all. A simple prayer for faith to believe that this too shall pass and this misery’s cry isn’t here forever to last.

Melissa Fitzwilliam