Peace for Today

Fragrant breeze of the morning wash over me, filling my senses with the fresh dew’s scent. Leaves rustle the first light of the dawn. The birth of this day was quiet and still like so many of the rest. While I seem to be lost in the hushed world around me, my heart is astir inside me. It longs for something more than what it has, yet it already has everything it could possibly need. It longs for peace for today. How do I tell my heart when it covets for something that it doesn’t have, it is telling my Lord, He is not enough. I do covet. I covet the peace I believe other people to have. I am coveting an outsider’s observation, without really knowing if the peace they portray is real. And even if it is real, then they are living the life God has purposed for them. When I long for what I have not, then I have stepped outside of His great plan, thinking my way is better for me. Yet He promised me peace was mine, so how does it elude me? How long will I continue in this life of mine, trying to pull God in tow and refusing to let Him lead. I fool myself in even trying to believe that He is a God that can be told what to do and how to do it. I was raised that if you pray hard enough you get what you pray for. But do I really want that after all? Yes I want the peace but what of the great lessons that might go unlearned? And how long has it been since I grew up and put away those childish notions that praying got me anything I wanted? I could find peace in this fragrant morning with the fresh dew beneath my feet. I could be praising God that I awoke to a quiet morning and not one filled with strife and turmoil. Instead I will take myself to task over the fact, that in this beautiful dawn, I somehow think He can be more to me than what He already is. What more must He give for it to be enough? But moreover, how can He give more than has already been given? Isn’t it precious and miraculous enough? In honesty my mind can say yes. But in this present moment my heart would be fine to cease battling over old wars and a mind to be at peace with the current situation. And I could have it all, if I would only trust Him. Yes, I have it all even peace for today, if I’ll just let Him lead the way.

Melissa Fitzwilliam