It’s kind of a hard weekend…there’s been a roller coaster of emotions. I keep telling myself that God is faithful and His hand is guiding all that we do. But it’s been hard. There is so much that I want to share with you, to vent, but I can’t. The tears well up, but won’t come. There’s a knot in my throat that just won’t go away. It’s not like I’m trying not to cry, I just can’t. I hate it when it does that. I feel like I need a good cry and I’m wondering if my medicine keeps me from crying, but I’m not for sure. I need a shoulder to cry on but what I’m learning is there are just some things that shouldn’t be shared. So I cry (or read complain) to God. He already knows everything, even things I don’t know. But what I do know is no matter how are you try to hide a sin, God will bring it to the light. He is really working on us right now, and while I know it’s for His glory, it’s still a painful process.
I don’t remember if I shared about mini-church on Friday night, but it was a very uplifting time. Mini-church is a dinner fellowship we have once a month for the adults and we get together, eat an awesome dinner (this time is was potluck), and have a message out of the Word. This time we were sharing what God was working on in our lives. I’m not sure if everyone knows about our current problem in the church so I didn’t share anything, but I did cry. Not hard uncontrollable tears, but soft tears of joy and sadness all at the same time. The message really spoke to me and the people who do know about our current problem just rallied around me and let me know how much they love me and how they are praying for us both. The support there is awe-inspiring!!! The outpouring of love is humbling! It’s God’s love poured out in visible form. It is what we need at this point in time and it’s what we have.
Other than that it’s been a relatively calm weekend. I’ve just been spending lots of time with Danny and doing some deep conversing. We’ve shared much this weekend and actually over this past week. We’ve sought each other’s forgiveness in various areas and in many ways poured our hearts out to each other. Man, I have so much on my heart that I desire to share with you!!! But out of respect for the situation it’s just not something I can do. Just know we need your continued prayers!!!
Pastor Don and Jean are coming over tonight to visit with us for awhile so I worked around the house today. I got quite a bit accomplished, but not near what I needed to get done. I just don’t have it in me right now. I know they will understand. We also may have some of the other church people coming over to see us and I welcome them with open arms! The phone calls haven’t stopped coming in with words of encouragement, love, and support. They are touching!!
I would like to go swimming in our new pool, but it turned green yesterday and we don’t have enough shock to get it to where I can vacuum it right now. We have so many errands to run and appointments to keep and I start back to work tomorrow. We only have one car right now because Danny’s truck is being fixed from the hail damage. I don’t know how we are going to juggle all of this but Pastor Don has already offered to take Danny where ever he may need to go so that will be incredibly helpful.
Well I guess I better run because my man is hungry and looking for something to eat. I’m getting a little hungry myself…this is a rare thing now days as I’ve had no appetite to eat anything. I keep thinking maybe I’ll drop a few pounds like I need to, but this isn’t the way to do it. Know my love goes out to you all and my prayers rise to heaven for you. Thank you in advance for your prayers and know you mean so much to me!!!
Melissa Fitzwilliam
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