Today after I got through blogging I received one of those phone calls that everyone knows will happen but dreads when it does. A few years ago I was working for John and Renee at their forklift company and met this amazing mechanic named Terry. He was so funny, lighthearted, and loved life. His joy for life was contagious. We quickly became great friends and he loved to cut up with me. He was also so very encouraging and could always lift my spirits when they were down. Simply put, he was a good man.
This morning Michelle called me with the news that Terry had passed away this very morning. She told me that about a month ago he had gotten sick and went to the doctor only to find out he had cancer. The doctors started him on chemotherapy right away and he was responding very well to it. They had intended on starting radiation this week and the doctors had great hope that he would recover from the cancer. However, the Lord had other plans. While heaven is a better place now with him in it, the world is definitely less than what it was when he was in it. We are all taking it pretty hard because it was so unexpected. I can easily say he was my favorite mechanic there! You couldn’t meet him and not like him. I plan on attending the funeral whenever they have it, I’m just not sure when it’s going to be yet. He was only in his 50’s and that is so young!
So needless to say it put a great damper on my day. I did have a good time tonight at Jam Fest with Ciara. She’s really good at playing the drums and she seemed to really enjoy herself. Also Kathy cleaned my house today and I was overjoyed when I came home! I think I will keep her. Danny also told her about my poetry and my writings and she wanted to read some of it. She echoed what everyone else has said and says I should see about getting my stuff published. I know everyone who reads it says the same thing, but I guess it’s true what they say that you are your own worst critic. Skyler is coming over tomorrow to work on getting us our wireless printer set up. We also bought Skyler’s old laptop today so now Danny has his own computer. That means mine will no longer be cluttered with mechanical things that I have no clue about lol. Skyler is also going to install Windows 7 on my laptop and we went and bought Quicken Business and Home software that he will install on Danny’s computer. This time we will pay him for his work along with feeding him dinner. He’s looking for some money to build his own computer and we want to help him out with it.
Other than that not much happened today. I did look online for Aniyah again but I can’t find any shorthaired miniature dachshunds. I’m hoping to get her as soon as possible. I feel like I need another baby to love on with Hannah being gone. Work was short today, we only got in two boxes of freight, but I had to send out close to twenty boxes to other stores. I was only there about three hours and then was able to come home. Danny’s dump truck is coming along nicely with Rick and Kathy working on it. I’m pretty sure they will be staying the night again tonight. I’ve got a vague headache and it’s just enough to be a nuisance. I’ve had a stiff neck now for almost two weeks and I’m really getting sick of it. I need to get in to see a few of my doctor’s and get Ciara to the doctor (she’s going first) for a sports physical. There’s much to do if I can just get it all done. Please pray for Terry’s family, friends, and co-workers. We appreciate your prayers and know God will hear them. I thank the Lord for the time He gave me with Terry and I take comfort that the Lord didn’t make him suffer here on earth. While I may not understand God’s will or timing I can have faith that He is a big enough God to take care of all things. Praise Him on high!
Melissa Fitzwilliam
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Catching You Up....
Life is getting back into the swing of things with school being back in session. I’m doing something a little different this year though. I’m getting up earlier in the morning so I can go out and have my morning coffee with a cigarette then going and fixing Ciara’s lunch and sometimes breakfast. I enjoy getting up earlier and having that little bit of time to wake up. Last year (and years prior) I would get up in time to throw on some clothes and get in the car to drive her to school. What I found is I would start to fall asleep on the way back home from bringing her to school. I had a few scary calls with my eyes half closed so I’ve decided I need to be completely awake before I crawl behind the wheel. Not only that but Ciara and I have time to spend some time together before she heads off to school.
This weekend was pretty great! It was my first set of days off since we went to Missouri two weeks ago. I was really ready for a few days off to spend time with the family. I went and got my hair trimmed some more and just piddled around the house. Shay came out on Sunday and it made my weekend!!! I have missed her so very much. It’s been a better part of a month since she’s been out here and that’s too long! I don’t know what I’m going to do when she moves to Louisiana for college at LSU. She’s not the only one talking about moving away though! Megan is talking about moving to Texas and trying to get on the police department there since Oklahoma has a hiring freeze going on for the foreseeable future. I can’t tell you how incredibly sad this makes me. I love our girls so much and the thought of them being any great length of distance away just breaks my heart. However, I’m praying for God’s will in their lives so I have to be open to what He has for them.
Rick and Kathy (my brother-in-law’s brother-in-law and wife lol and our workers for the new business) have been coming out here and staying the night quite a bit. They are wonderful people and I enjoy having them around so much. They were both raised Pentecostal and have been really burned by the church they were going to. However, they are Christians and hear us talk about how wonderful our church is all the time. So they finally decided to try it out and they really liked it. They said that we had talked about how warm and loving the people were there but didn’t expect them to be that way towards them. They said they could see the love of God pouring through the people there. I told them I would have been greatly disappointed if it had been any other way. Speaking of church Ciara has decided she’s going to start playing the drums on Sundays. We are going to a jamfest tonight there and she is going to show the elders just how talented she is!!! Skyler (our adopted son lol and computer guy) has really talked her up to the elders about playing the drums and her singing. Skyler plays the guitar and has such a phenomenal talent for it!!! I invited Shay to come tonight too and I think she’s going to try and make it if she is feeling better and doesn’t have to work. I plan on staying and enjoying them do their thing tonight. I don’t know if Danny is going tonight or not. I think it will depend on if he gets all his work done today on the business and if Kathy and Rick stay the night again.
Other than that life has been going good. I’m still greatly enjoying my job and I think this is my most favorite job ever!! The Lord is really blessing me through this!! I’m still looking for our next dachshund, Aniyah, but haven’t found her yet. In case I forgot to tell you, we sold Hannah and I’m really having puppy withdraws!! If I have my way we’ll have a house full of miniature dachshunds before it’s all said and done lol. Well I guess I should go get ready for work. I left early yesterday to go get Ciara from volleyball practice and didn’t get all my work done, so now I need to go in early to get it all done before freight gets here so we can mail out the pulls from this week. Pl ease continue to pray for us as we pray for you. Prayer is the strongest, most effective tool that God has given us. I’ve seen prayer turn into miracles and blessings abound. The Lord is mighty and all powerful! Praise Him on high!!! What a mighty God we serve!! Now that’s I’m done catching you up I’m really going to run. Have a wonderful day and I can’t wait until I’m back rambling more lol!!!!
Melissa Fitzwilliam
This weekend was pretty great! It was my first set of days off since we went to Missouri two weeks ago. I was really ready for a few days off to spend time with the family. I went and got my hair trimmed some more and just piddled around the house. Shay came out on Sunday and it made my weekend!!! I have missed her so very much. It’s been a better part of a month since she’s been out here and that’s too long! I don’t know what I’m going to do when she moves to Louisiana for college at LSU. She’s not the only one talking about moving away though! Megan is talking about moving to Texas and trying to get on the police department there since Oklahoma has a hiring freeze going on for the foreseeable future. I can’t tell you how incredibly sad this makes me. I love our girls so much and the thought of them being any great length of distance away just breaks my heart. However, I’m praying for God’s will in their lives so I have to be open to what He has for them.
Rick and Kathy (my brother-in-law’s brother-in-law and wife lol and our workers for the new business) have been coming out here and staying the night quite a bit. They are wonderful people and I enjoy having them around so much. They were both raised Pentecostal and have been really burned by the church they were going to. However, they are Christians and hear us talk about how wonderful our church is all the time. So they finally decided to try it out and they really liked it. They said that we had talked about how warm and loving the people were there but didn’t expect them to be that way towards them. They said they could see the love of God pouring through the people there. I told them I would have been greatly disappointed if it had been any other way. Speaking of church Ciara has decided she’s going to start playing the drums on Sundays. We are going to a jamfest tonight there and she is going to show the elders just how talented she is!!! Skyler (our adopted son lol and computer guy) has really talked her up to the elders about playing the drums and her singing. Skyler plays the guitar and has such a phenomenal talent for it!!! I invited Shay to come tonight too and I think she’s going to try and make it if she is feeling better and doesn’t have to work. I plan on staying and enjoying them do their thing tonight. I don’t know if Danny is going tonight or not. I think it will depend on if he gets all his work done today on the business and if Kathy and Rick stay the night again.
Other than that life has been going good. I’m still greatly enjoying my job and I think this is my most favorite job ever!! The Lord is really blessing me through this!! I’m still looking for our next dachshund, Aniyah, but haven’t found her yet. In case I forgot to tell you, we sold Hannah and I’m really having puppy withdraws!! If I have my way we’ll have a house full of miniature dachshunds before it’s all said and done lol. Well I guess I should go get ready for work. I left early yesterday to go get Ciara from volleyball practice and didn’t get all my work done, so now I need to go in early to get it all done before freight gets here so we can mail out the pulls from this week. Pl ease continue to pray for us as we pray for you. Prayer is the strongest, most effective tool that God has given us. I’ve seen prayer turn into miracles and blessings abound. The Lord is mighty and all powerful! Praise Him on high!!! What a mighty God we serve!! Now that’s I’m done catching you up I’m really going to run. Have a wonderful day and I can’t wait until I’m back rambling more lol!!!!
Melissa Fitzwilliam
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Time is Slipping Away
Every Moment
By: Joy Williams
We laughed out loud ‘til we cried
And the tears were sweet
Midnight melted to morning
A moment faded to memory
All these days
They just slip away through our fingers
So…
Don’t let go
Hold onto every moment
Always know
Hold onto every moment that You can
We move on with no regrets to our destiny
Held by the hands of the Father
We share His love and He leads us through
All these days
They just slip away through our fingers
So…
Don’t let go
Hold onto every moment
Always know
Hold onto every moment that You can
Running through yesterday into tomorrow
Don’t let it just drift away
Forget about tying the hands of time
Give every minute to the One who gave us today
Don’t let go
Hold onto every moment
Always know
Hold onto every moment that You can
Well today is Ciara’s first day of junior high (7th grade) and Shay’s last first day of school as she is a senior this year. I spent the morning praying for all of our girls that the Lord would guide them and protect them. I thanked Him for choosing me to be the one to guide them here on this earth. It just amazes me how fast the time has flown by. I blinked for just a moment and they grew up. How does it happen so fast?! I try to hold fast to the moments but they slip away like water in my hand. The years seem to go by faster with each passing year. Time is flying by so fast that I can’t keep up with it. The tears I cried this morning were bitter sweet; bitter in the fact that they are getting so big, but sweet in the fact that they are getting so big lol. God has blessed us with four amazing girls and I stand in awe of Him and them.
Yesterday is but a memory, tomorrow is uncertain, but today I will cherish with all that I have. We are chained to time and while it grips us we are under its power. It can be cruel and sweet as it is this morning. Time is a friend and an enemy all in the same moment. One day we will be free from the constraints of time, but until that day comes I will cling to my memories and my moments with all that I have. As Ciara was getting ready this morning I was praying for time to slow down, so I could enjoy each second that we had together. Now I am praying for it to speed up so I can see how her day was (and Shay too!!!). Well speaking of time, it’s time for me to get ready for work. It’s only 9:00 in the morning but freight has been coming in early and I want to get there as soon as possible so I can get Ciara after school. I pray for you all and lift you up in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. He is such a good God and the Holy Spirit is with us always. He binds us together as a family in His amazing love. Don’t let today slip away without finding moments to cherish.
Melissa Fitzwilliam
By: Joy Williams
We laughed out loud ‘til we cried
And the tears were sweet
Midnight melted to morning
A moment faded to memory
All these days
They just slip away through our fingers
So…
Don’t let go
Hold onto every moment
Always know
Hold onto every moment that You can
We move on with no regrets to our destiny
Held by the hands of the Father
We share His love and He leads us through
All these days
They just slip away through our fingers
So…
Don’t let go
Hold onto every moment
Always know
Hold onto every moment that You can
Running through yesterday into tomorrow
Don’t let it just drift away
Forget about tying the hands of time
Give every minute to the One who gave us today
Don’t let go
Hold onto every moment
Always know
Hold onto every moment that You can
Well today is Ciara’s first day of junior high (7th grade) and Shay’s last first day of school as she is a senior this year. I spent the morning praying for all of our girls that the Lord would guide them and protect them. I thanked Him for choosing me to be the one to guide them here on this earth. It just amazes me how fast the time has flown by. I blinked for just a moment and they grew up. How does it happen so fast?! I try to hold fast to the moments but they slip away like water in my hand. The years seem to go by faster with each passing year. Time is flying by so fast that I can’t keep up with it. The tears I cried this morning were bitter sweet; bitter in the fact that they are getting so big, but sweet in the fact that they are getting so big lol. God has blessed us with four amazing girls and I stand in awe of Him and them.
Yesterday is but a memory, tomorrow is uncertain, but today I will cherish with all that I have. We are chained to time and while it grips us we are under its power. It can be cruel and sweet as it is this morning. Time is a friend and an enemy all in the same moment. One day we will be free from the constraints of time, but until that day comes I will cling to my memories and my moments with all that I have. As Ciara was getting ready this morning I was praying for time to slow down, so I could enjoy each second that we had together. Now I am praying for it to speed up so I can see how her day was (and Shay too!!!). Well speaking of time, it’s time for me to get ready for work. It’s only 9:00 in the morning but freight has been coming in early and I want to get there as soon as possible so I can get Ciara after school. I pray for you all and lift you up in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. He is such a good God and the Holy Spirit is with us always. He binds us together as a family in His amazing love. Don’t let today slip away without finding moments to cherish.
Melissa Fitzwilliam
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
God's Moving!!! (can you feel Him?)
Life has been so busy lately but in a good way. We took a trip to Missouri to look at dump trucks and I think we may have found one! It was a fun trip with Rick and Kathy and she kept me laughing the entire time. I think we have found us some good, honest workers, but better than that I think we have found some great lifelong friends! Rick is so knowledgeable about machinery and so is Kathy! We value their opinion and really lean on them to guide us in this search. I have been praying that God would bring us to the right truck! We do need to get this business up and running though and get some money coming in! Things are getting tight again, but I know God has everything under control. While the company on the trip was great, one of the places we stayed left much lacking!!!! It was a dive if I’ve ever seen one, but it was our only option at the time. I learned a valuable lesson that you ask to see the rooms before you agree to pay to stay there!! We also learned to take more clothes than you think you need. We took one day’s change of clothes thinking we would be back the next day. However what started to be a one day trip turned into a four day trip!! We had to go to Wal-Mart and buy us clothes to make it through the trip. However, through all the bumps along the way it was a good trip.
This coming weekend will be tax-free weekend here in Oklahoma. All clothes and school supplies will be tax free from Friday to Sunday. What this means for me is I will work this past Tuesday to next Friday without a day off. This weekend I will be back on the floor working with the customers. They say to be prepared for a crazy weekend! We’ve been told to wear comfortable shoes because we won’t be getting breaks. However, we are all bringing something on Saturday for a Mexican day and as time permits we will be running back to the stock room to stuff our faces and run back on the floor. I’m so glad I like the people that I work with otherwise this could be very miserable. I just saw the weather forecast and it will be in the 100’s this weekend and it’s mandatory fall dress code. What that means is jeans, no sandals, but close toed shoes, and at least three layers on top. Now yes that sounds like a lot but you can wear two tank tops and that counts as two layers. I know what jeans I’m wearing but I haven’t decided what tops I’m wearing yet. Not a big deal but still I want to be comfortable and not burning hot while I’m helping customers.
Tonight is church night and I can’t wait to see my church family. They have been such a huge support to me here recently and the love of God has just poured through them! I stand awed and humble at the people God has put in my life. We serve such an awesome God and I’m so glad to have Him as the Savior of my heart! Speaking of God Ciara went to church camp in Missouri and came back totally on fire for God!! She said she feels like she has been so fully filled by the Holy Spirit that she is amazed. She felt the Holy Spirit move during the entire trip. She has had some anger issues for awhile now and she said it was like this huge knot of anger just vanished during one of the worship sessions. She said the messages were amazing and she can’t wait to get out around people so she can show them through her life that she is a devoted child of God. My heart just overflows at this. She is even vowed to change her habits at school because she said she wasn’t honoring God in her work in years past. She wants to live for God in every way that she can think of and that means being a better daughter, a better friend, and a louder and more active living example of Christ’s great love for us. She has fallen in love with Jesus all over again and has been renewed. She has experienced a revival in her life and also His amazing grace poured out to overflowing! She is walking with Him in every way and I pray this doesn’t go away for her. My prayer is that our other girls experience this same thirst and hunger for our Savior. I also pray that He begins to renew my spirit and set me on fire as He has Ciara. Her joy for Him is contagious! I can’t wait to see what He’s going to do in her life!!!
Well I guess I better get to cleaning house. It’s a complete mess!! I’ve got a load of laundry washing now but I’ve let it build up again and it will take me a better part of a week to get it all done. (sigh) I need to start treating my house as a house of the Lord and keep it the way it deserves! My family deserves to have clean clothes, clean dishes, clean bathrooms, etc. Lord willing, He will begin a new work in me and we will all see the evidence of this in my life. I thank you all for keeping us in your prayers and ask you to continue to do so. I, also, keep you in my prayers and I am so grateful for all of you! The Lord bless you and keep you in the palm of His mighty and loving hand!!!
Melissa Fitzwilliam
This coming weekend will be tax-free weekend here in Oklahoma. All clothes and school supplies will be tax free from Friday to Sunday. What this means for me is I will work this past Tuesday to next Friday without a day off. This weekend I will be back on the floor working with the customers. They say to be prepared for a crazy weekend! We’ve been told to wear comfortable shoes because we won’t be getting breaks. However, we are all bringing something on Saturday for a Mexican day and as time permits we will be running back to the stock room to stuff our faces and run back on the floor. I’m so glad I like the people that I work with otherwise this could be very miserable. I just saw the weather forecast and it will be in the 100’s this weekend and it’s mandatory fall dress code. What that means is jeans, no sandals, but close toed shoes, and at least three layers on top. Now yes that sounds like a lot but you can wear two tank tops and that counts as two layers. I know what jeans I’m wearing but I haven’t decided what tops I’m wearing yet. Not a big deal but still I want to be comfortable and not burning hot while I’m helping customers.
Tonight is church night and I can’t wait to see my church family. They have been such a huge support to me here recently and the love of God has just poured through them! I stand awed and humble at the people God has put in my life. We serve such an awesome God and I’m so glad to have Him as the Savior of my heart! Speaking of God Ciara went to church camp in Missouri and came back totally on fire for God!! She said she feels like she has been so fully filled by the Holy Spirit that she is amazed. She felt the Holy Spirit move during the entire trip. She has had some anger issues for awhile now and she said it was like this huge knot of anger just vanished during one of the worship sessions. She said the messages were amazing and she can’t wait to get out around people so she can show them through her life that she is a devoted child of God. My heart just overflows at this. She is even vowed to change her habits at school because she said she wasn’t honoring God in her work in years past. She wants to live for God in every way that she can think of and that means being a better daughter, a better friend, and a louder and more active living example of Christ’s great love for us. She has fallen in love with Jesus all over again and has been renewed. She has experienced a revival in her life and also His amazing grace poured out to overflowing! She is walking with Him in every way and I pray this doesn’t go away for her. My prayer is that our other girls experience this same thirst and hunger for our Savior. I also pray that He begins to renew my spirit and set me on fire as He has Ciara. Her joy for Him is contagious! I can’t wait to see what He’s going to do in her life!!!
Well I guess I better get to cleaning house. It’s a complete mess!! I’ve got a load of laundry washing now but I’ve let it build up again and it will take me a better part of a week to get it all done. (sigh) I need to start treating my house as a house of the Lord and keep it the way it deserves! My family deserves to have clean clothes, clean dishes, clean bathrooms, etc. Lord willing, He will begin a new work in me and we will all see the evidence of this in my life. I thank you all for keeping us in your prayers and ask you to continue to do so. I, also, keep you in my prayers and I am so grateful for all of you! The Lord bless you and keep you in the palm of His mighty and loving hand!!!
Melissa Fitzwilliam
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
It's a Blinding Lost....
I wish I could say things are getting easier, but I can’t. I wish I could say I felt better and I’m seeing things in a positive light, but I can’t. I have some many questions that are racing through my mind with no answers to be found. I’m so frustrated right now and I can’t vent to Anita until Thursday. Speaking of Thursday, Ciara is going to start seeing Anita Thursday too. I think she’s to that age that she struggles going back and forth between houses and just other stuff that pre-teens go through, that I think she needs someone she can confide in. I think she will love Anita the way I do! The one problem is that while I vent to Anita, there are some things that you still don’t have answers to. It’s just waiting to see what God has in store for you. Today I’m anxious. I’m anxious for so many reasons...none of which I can share. But I can tell you I have felt your prayers and they have lifted my spirits. Even with me being so low right now I take courage in the fact you love me enough to pray for things that are unknown to you but still concern me none the less. I’m encouraged by the love of God pouring through you all.
I’m gonna keep this one short because there are things I need to get done. The most encouraging news is I’m back to work after being off for a week. I missed that place so much!!! I know I have said it before but I love that place and also the people I work for and with!! I’m am doing freight now rather than selling out on the floor. I unpack all the clothes that come in each day and put security sensors on them and get them ready to go out on the floor. It can be a tedious job but I still love it. What I’m missing right now is doing some serious writing. I don’t write poems anymore, or heartfelt blurbs, and I rarely get to blog anymore. It feels like the writer inside of me is asleep. It’s not a good sleep, but a restless slumber that’s deep and dark. Now please don’t mistake this as a trip down depression lane! I think I’m just under so much stress that it doesn’t evoke in me the desire to write. And while I love work, I still don’t feel completely fulfilled. I think what I’m lacking is a deeper walk with God. I don’t journal my prayers anymore, and to be honest praying is coming really hard for me right now and has for some time now. I know Christ has torn down the veil that keep me from God, but it feels like there is this wall, maybe a ceiling, that makes my prayers bounce off and return to me unanswered. I don’t feel worthy enough to come to God right now. I know none of us are worthy, but this is something more. I know I’m doing a poor job at explaining it, but it’s hard to explain when I don’t fully understand it myself.
I need to just jump in and start prayer journaling again and doing my daily walk with Him. He seems so far and I feel so lost. It’s a blinding lost. It’s so foggy you are unsure what the next step has in store for you. After reading this again I think this is something Anita needs to see because while there is still so much left unsaid, I have explained it better here than I’ve been able to just sit and think through. I guess I need to get off here and call my ex so I can pick up Ciara tomorrow. She won’t be home long because she is going to church camp this next week. I pray she has a good time and finds a deeper walk with Christ while she’s there. Please continue your prayers because we’re still stumbling our way along. One misstep and I fear I will fall apart. Thank you for listening to my ramblings and also thank you for your prayers. I have faith that they are not going unheard.
Melissa Fitzwilliam
I’m gonna keep this one short because there are things I need to get done. The most encouraging news is I’m back to work after being off for a week. I missed that place so much!!! I know I have said it before but I love that place and also the people I work for and with!! I’m am doing freight now rather than selling out on the floor. I unpack all the clothes that come in each day and put security sensors on them and get them ready to go out on the floor. It can be a tedious job but I still love it. What I’m missing right now is doing some serious writing. I don’t write poems anymore, or heartfelt blurbs, and I rarely get to blog anymore. It feels like the writer inside of me is asleep. It’s not a good sleep, but a restless slumber that’s deep and dark. Now please don’t mistake this as a trip down depression lane! I think I’m just under so much stress that it doesn’t evoke in me the desire to write. And while I love work, I still don’t feel completely fulfilled. I think what I’m lacking is a deeper walk with God. I don’t journal my prayers anymore, and to be honest praying is coming really hard for me right now and has for some time now. I know Christ has torn down the veil that keep me from God, but it feels like there is this wall, maybe a ceiling, that makes my prayers bounce off and return to me unanswered. I don’t feel worthy enough to come to God right now. I know none of us are worthy, but this is something more. I know I’m doing a poor job at explaining it, but it’s hard to explain when I don’t fully understand it myself.
I need to just jump in and start prayer journaling again and doing my daily walk with Him. He seems so far and I feel so lost. It’s a blinding lost. It’s so foggy you are unsure what the next step has in store for you. After reading this again I think this is something Anita needs to see because while there is still so much left unsaid, I have explained it better here than I’ve been able to just sit and think through. I guess I need to get off here and call my ex so I can pick up Ciara tomorrow. She won’t be home long because she is going to church camp this next week. I pray she has a good time and finds a deeper walk with Christ while she’s there. Please continue your prayers because we’re still stumbling our way along. One misstep and I fear I will fall apart. Thank you for listening to my ramblings and also thank you for your prayers. I have faith that they are not going unheard.
Melissa Fitzwilliam
Sunday, July 18, 2010
God's Great Love Poured Out In Visible Form!!!
It’s kind of a hard weekend…there’s been a roller coaster of emotions. I keep telling myself that God is faithful and His hand is guiding all that we do. But it’s been hard. There is so much that I want to share with you, to vent, but I can’t. The tears well up, but won’t come. There’s a knot in my throat that just won’t go away. It’s not like I’m trying not to cry, I just can’t. I hate it when it does that. I feel like I need a good cry and I’m wondering if my medicine keeps me from crying, but I’m not for sure. I need a shoulder to cry on but what I’m learning is there are just some things that shouldn’t be shared. So I cry (or read complain) to God. He already knows everything, even things I don’t know. But what I do know is no matter how are you try to hide a sin, God will bring it to the light. He is really working on us right now, and while I know it’s for His glory, it’s still a painful process.
I don’t remember if I shared about mini-church on Friday night, but it was a very uplifting time. Mini-church is a dinner fellowship we have once a month for the adults and we get together, eat an awesome dinner (this time is was potluck), and have a message out of the Word. This time we were sharing what God was working on in our lives. I’m not sure if everyone knows about our current problem in the church so I didn’t share anything, but I did cry. Not hard uncontrollable tears, but soft tears of joy and sadness all at the same time. The message really spoke to me and the people who do know about our current problem just rallied around me and let me know how much they love me and how they are praying for us both. The support there is awe-inspiring!!! The outpouring of love is humbling! It’s God’s love poured out in visible form. It is what we need at this point in time and it’s what we have.
Other than that it’s been a relatively calm weekend. I’ve just been spending lots of time with Danny and doing some deep conversing. We’ve shared much this weekend and actually over this past week. We’ve sought each other’s forgiveness in various areas and in many ways poured our hearts out to each other. Man, I have so much on my heart that I desire to share with you!!! But out of respect for the situation it’s just not something I can do. Just know we need your continued prayers!!!
Pastor Don and Jean are coming over tonight to visit with us for awhile so I worked around the house today. I got quite a bit accomplished, but not near what I needed to get done. I just don’t have it in me right now. I know they will understand. We also may have some of the other church people coming over to see us and I welcome them with open arms! The phone calls haven’t stopped coming in with words of encouragement, love, and support. They are touching!!
I would like to go swimming in our new pool, but it turned green yesterday and we don’t have enough shock to get it to where I can vacuum it right now. We have so many errands to run and appointments to keep and I start back to work tomorrow. We only have one car right now because Danny’s truck is being fixed from the hail damage. I don’t know how we are going to juggle all of this but Pastor Don has already offered to take Danny where ever he may need to go so that will be incredibly helpful.
Well I guess I better run because my man is hungry and looking for something to eat. I’m getting a little hungry myself…this is a rare thing now days as I’ve had no appetite to eat anything. I keep thinking maybe I’ll drop a few pounds like I need to, but this isn’t the way to do it. Know my love goes out to you all and my prayers rise to heaven for you. Thank you in advance for your prayers and know you mean so much to me!!!
Melissa Fitzwilliam
I don’t remember if I shared about mini-church on Friday night, but it was a very uplifting time. Mini-church is a dinner fellowship we have once a month for the adults and we get together, eat an awesome dinner (this time is was potluck), and have a message out of the Word. This time we were sharing what God was working on in our lives. I’m not sure if everyone knows about our current problem in the church so I didn’t share anything, but I did cry. Not hard uncontrollable tears, but soft tears of joy and sadness all at the same time. The message really spoke to me and the people who do know about our current problem just rallied around me and let me know how much they love me and how they are praying for us both. The support there is awe-inspiring!!! The outpouring of love is humbling! It’s God’s love poured out in visible form. It is what we need at this point in time and it’s what we have.
Other than that it’s been a relatively calm weekend. I’ve just been spending lots of time with Danny and doing some deep conversing. We’ve shared much this weekend and actually over this past week. We’ve sought each other’s forgiveness in various areas and in many ways poured our hearts out to each other. Man, I have so much on my heart that I desire to share with you!!! But out of respect for the situation it’s just not something I can do. Just know we need your continued prayers!!!
Pastor Don and Jean are coming over tonight to visit with us for awhile so I worked around the house today. I got quite a bit accomplished, but not near what I needed to get done. I just don’t have it in me right now. I know they will understand. We also may have some of the other church people coming over to see us and I welcome them with open arms! The phone calls haven’t stopped coming in with words of encouragement, love, and support. They are touching!!
I would like to go swimming in our new pool, but it turned green yesterday and we don’t have enough shock to get it to where I can vacuum it right now. We have so many errands to run and appointments to keep and I start back to work tomorrow. We only have one car right now because Danny’s truck is being fixed from the hail damage. I don’t know how we are going to juggle all of this but Pastor Don has already offered to take Danny where ever he may need to go so that will be incredibly helpful.
Well I guess I better run because my man is hungry and looking for something to eat. I’m getting a little hungry myself…this is a rare thing now days as I’ve had no appetite to eat anything. I keep thinking maybe I’ll drop a few pounds like I need to, but this isn’t the way to do it. Know my love goes out to you all and my prayers rise to heaven for you. Thank you in advance for your prayers and know you mean so much to me!!!
Melissa Fitzwilliam
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Thank You In Advance For Your Prayers....
So I wrote a little something last night, but I thought I would get on here and thank everyone again for their prayers. What makes me sad is I can praise God in the good times but I have a hard time praising Him in the bad times. I keep questioning Him why these things had to happen like He owes me some explanation but He doesn’t. In many ways I feel like Job right now. We are going through so many hard trials (don’t get me wrong it’s nothing like Job went through) and I keep thinking why? Since I believe in predestination I have to know that God has this problem already worked out although I can’t see it. He is a good God all the time and He wouldn’t allow something to happen to us that won’t turn out for our good and that He won’t get the praise for in the end. I have to take courage in this because it seems like the only thing I have to hold on too right now is His love and promises.
Ok now in other news…I think we have decided to keep Hannah!!! She has found her way into our hearts and I just can’t bear to part with her! Our doctor tried taking her but I guess his dog about tore her up so he said it just wasn’t a good fit. She was so happy to be home and I missed her so much for her only being gone for two days!!! I think we are still getting Aniyah (the red doxie) and I need to start looking for her. I want to potty train them both at the same time! And I’m also hoping that Elowyn takes to Aniyah like she is one of her own pups. Also in dog news, Edom and Rukka attacked our neighbor’s dog yesterday!!! They really tore that little guy up!!! Our neighbor is so mad right now and to be honest he has every right to be!!! He has now said that if our dogs go on his property that he will shoot them. Again he has every right to do that and as responsible dog owners we have to keep our dogs contained within our property. So we have to go buy a big dog pen because we have three really big dogs. For the moment they are staying locked up in the entry way of the house. I have to say they really don’t feel like they are being punished because they are in the cool of the house rather than the sweltering heat of the outside sun.
Also….Danny has really been hurting bad lately. He struggles with debilitating pain on a daily basis. He goes back to see his pain specialist and they are talking about doing some kind of internal implant that will vibrate his nerve endings and that will take away the pain. To be honest we have heard some really bad things about this device. It’s battery operated and so every so often you have to go back in for another surgery to replace the batteries. Danny doesn’t want anymore surgeries and I can’t say I blame him. But they have to figure out something to do for his pain. He has decided that pain pills are not an option because they can be so addictive. I think he made the right decision but there has to be some answer out there for his pain. I pray constantly that God will heal him from this pain, but this may be the thorn in his flesh. So please be praying for his pain. He isn’t sleeping at night and is also keeping me awake as he wants me to rub his neck and his lower back. Poor baby, he’s being such a trooper trying to deal with this but I know it wears on him.
I guess that’s all for now. I’ll try really hard not to stay gone so long. I looked at the blog site and I only did one post in June and so far this will be my second one in July. I use to post 30+ blogs a month when I was staying at home! I miss it so much!! Now I need to get up and do some cleaning! The house is a mess and it’s my own fault. I haven’t used my washer and dryer very much and the laundry is piling up again!! I wish I was a clean freak, but alas that is not how God made me lol!!! I’m lifting you all up in prayer and my love goes out to you all!!!
Melissa Fitzwilliam
Ok now in other news…I think we have decided to keep Hannah!!! She has found her way into our hearts and I just can’t bear to part with her! Our doctor tried taking her but I guess his dog about tore her up so he said it just wasn’t a good fit. She was so happy to be home and I missed her so much for her only being gone for two days!!! I think we are still getting Aniyah (the red doxie) and I need to start looking for her. I want to potty train them both at the same time! And I’m also hoping that Elowyn takes to Aniyah like she is one of her own pups. Also in dog news, Edom and Rukka attacked our neighbor’s dog yesterday!!! They really tore that little guy up!!! Our neighbor is so mad right now and to be honest he has every right to be!!! He has now said that if our dogs go on his property that he will shoot them. Again he has every right to do that and as responsible dog owners we have to keep our dogs contained within our property. So we have to go buy a big dog pen because we have three really big dogs. For the moment they are staying locked up in the entry way of the house. I have to say they really don’t feel like they are being punished because they are in the cool of the house rather than the sweltering heat of the outside sun.
Also….Danny has really been hurting bad lately. He struggles with debilitating pain on a daily basis. He goes back to see his pain specialist and they are talking about doing some kind of internal implant that will vibrate his nerve endings and that will take away the pain. To be honest we have heard some really bad things about this device. It’s battery operated and so every so often you have to go back in for another surgery to replace the batteries. Danny doesn’t want anymore surgeries and I can’t say I blame him. But they have to figure out something to do for his pain. He has decided that pain pills are not an option because they can be so addictive. I think he made the right decision but there has to be some answer out there for his pain. I pray constantly that God will heal him from this pain, but this may be the thorn in his flesh. So please be praying for his pain. He isn’t sleeping at night and is also keeping me awake as he wants me to rub his neck and his lower back. Poor baby, he’s being such a trooper trying to deal with this but I know it wears on him.
I guess that’s all for now. I’ll try really hard not to stay gone so long. I looked at the blog site and I only did one post in June and so far this will be my second one in July. I use to post 30+ blogs a month when I was staying at home! I miss it so much!! Now I need to get up and do some cleaning! The house is a mess and it’s my own fault. I haven’t used my washer and dryer very much and the laundry is piling up again!! I wish I was a clean freak, but alas that is not how God made me lol!!! I’m lifting you all up in prayer and my love goes out to you all!!!
Melissa Fitzwilliam
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